Planning on leaving **

[Needsomeadvice]

The more I speak to people about my relationship the more I can see how wrong it is. I am constantly put down and called vulgar names(his fave ones are b*****d and c**t), if he gets angry he will grab my face and threaten to do something to me. I’m not allowed to do certain things eg go to the gym alone. I am just so unhappy in this relationship however I have tried to stay for my 2 young babies. I am also so scared of being alone cs I’ve not been single in forever. I have however decided in my head I can’t be with this man forever and want to leave (detail removed by Moderator) before I change my mind again. Just looking for advice from people who have left a situation and whether it was the right thing to do.

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Needsomeadvice

I am sorry its so late, but I just saw your post and my heart goes out to you being stuck in such abuse and having to face that and live with it every day and night, with two young babies to care for and protect too.

I am so glad that you see it for what it is. You know exactly what he’s been doing to you is wrong, and is absolutely is the best thing you will ever do for your children is to get them as far as away from that as is possible, not to mention the harm its continually doing to you being abused this way.

It is best to go before your children are also continually impacted negatively in their very early developmental phase of their lives, and before you lose the strength and will to go. The earlier the better, and its not easy no matter how long you have been suffering, but the less suffering all round the better.

I wish you every strength, and all the luck and energy for getting away safely. Do you know that you are going to manage this safely? If you are not sure you can always call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, or you can follow the ‘Signposting and Support’ option above, to the link for ‘chat’ on here with a female domestic abuse worker, who can help you with the safety elements of your escape, and advise on the essentials to grab to take with you. It always helps to not feel alone, and you are not; when other women on this forum read your message they will be willing you on, we will be with you and hoping for your safe escape.

When you get the opportunity, and feel you want to, it would be lovely to hear from you again with any other worries or needs that you have, but also that you have got out safely, if you leave. Also though, if you don’t manage it this time, just keep talking here, there’s no judgement and noone wants you to feel alone in this.

Warmest wishes

ts

[Needsomeadvice]

Hi twister sister, thanks for your reply. So I did leave like I said I would but we have been put into a hotel for the past (detail removed by Moderator) nights until they find us temporary accommodation. I am really struggling here as the kids are bored and stressing me out, no cooking facilities etc so finding it hard to source meals. Really not the best situation to be in. Not sure how much longer we will be here. Times like this you just wish you were back home.

[nbumblebee]

Wow incredable that you left well done. I once saw a quote that has stuck with me it showed a picture of a mattress on a floor in a dark room and it said sometimes this is what freedom looks like.
I guess thats the thing as hard as it is and i can only imagine how tough it is really think and look back at your worst day at home is it as bad as that my guess is no it really isnt.
This is just the start of a whole new beginning for you and my guess is it wont always be easy at all but you are free from abuse you are safe and life will get better and so will you.
Youve taken a huge step now baby steps foward. Good luck xxxx

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