Playing the victim

[Blueshoes]

So my emotionally abusive/controlling Partner/ex has been phoning the police and has made a domestic incident (i think that’s what it is called) report to say that I’m abusive, I’ve threatened to have him arrested etc and I make him feel scared. I am 99% certain this isn’t the case and I have over (detail removed by moderator) worth of evidence of his controlling and threatening behaviour. I’m currently trying to obtain a non-molestation order but now that he’s phoned the police I’m scared I’m never going to be taken seriously in court. I don’t know whether I should be phoning the police myself to report his behaviour? I feel like he is playing the victim and I’m worried now the police won’t take me seriously.

Sorry for the rant I’m just so confused and worried

[KIP.]

I’d definitely make a complaint to the police. It’s very common for the abuser to take on the role of the victim. He’s thinking if he gets in there first and discredits you then you won’t report and you won’t be believed. Even better that you have evidence to show them. Also making a false complaint against you won’t go in his favour at all and is just more evidence of his controlling behaviour. Talk to the domestic abuse unit. Get in touch with your local women’s aid who can support you too.

[Put the kettle on]

Hi blueshoes,
My ex is the same massively playing the victim and accusing me of being abusive, unfortunately he’s believed by some. I too worry i won’t be believed, it makes it so hard doesn’t it. I remind myself i was fooled and manipulated by him for years so should I be surprised he’s still doing it to others. I think once we’re out/away from them we see how truly bad they are.

[Blueshoes]

Thank you both. I think I just need to build up the confidence to report to the police, my s/o really made it sound like they wouldn’t believe me but I guess that’s all part of the abuse. He got some ‘victim support’ leaflets through from the police in the post which just felt like a massive kick in the teeth. Hopefully I’ll be able to come back to these forums soon having reported it and feeling a lot better! I’m ‘manifesting’ it or whatever it’s called haha

[KIP.]

He’s playing mind games with you. If he’s so scared why is he still there?

[KIP.]

Deliberately leaving those leaflets around. Making a malicious complaint is a crime. Make sure you add that when you speak to the police x

[gettingtired]

Hi, hope you don’t mind but I’m just commenting for @Daff xx

[Daff]

Thank you x.
I have found out my ex has done this as well. Its like its never ending. I just want to be left alone and don’t think I can cope with much more. I know there’s people out there who are believing him. how do you move on when they wont let you.

[Author]

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