Please help feel like I’m going insane

[Chunky munky]

I don’t know we’re to start! I feel like I’m loosing my mind , everyday the put downs the yelling the control twisting it round onto me ! Every morning I wake up thinking oh god here we go again, I dearntwake him up to watch our child while I take my other kids ( not his) to school as if he hasn’t had enough sleep that’s it for the day! I feel like I have to explain myself all the time, if I get a bath or do my hair or makeup he questions me to the point I’m constantly accused of doing something behind his bk so I don’t do my hair or makeup anymore , if I want to go to my friends I have to take my eldest child with me and if I’m longer then an hour it’s world war 3 when I get in , he calls me such horrible names makes out I’m a bad mum if I don’t get up with our child every morning , he refuses to do anything for my kids as there not his even tho he makes me do everything for his even there school runs and provide for them he hasn’t in all the time we’ve been together! I don’t want sex and when I turn him down I’m yet again accused of cheating to the point just give him it so he’ll leave me alone , I’m loosing who I am I feel like a caged animal I look in the mirror and hate myself the way I look!hes smashed my phone up all because a male friend messaged me interested in my friend ! If I’m longer then an hour doing the shopping he’s on the phone then I know I’m gonna get an argument when I get home , he calls me a state fat bad mum lazy s**g s**t headcase and more when I repeat things to him what he’s called me he denies it to the point he’s believable even tho I know he’s said it he makes me question my own mind ! I was previously in a physical violent relationship and had to go into a refuge and he says I look more into things oz of what they’ve drummed in my head! I never want to go out now it’s not worth the hassle I dearnt get help as this is second time around and don’t want to loose my kids it prob won’t seem
That bad to you who are reading it but I can’t describe it I have no one to turn toss he goes round telling people I’m aheadcasr do I have nowhere to turn he even belittles me in front of friends and his kids , I can’t live like this no more

[AlwaysSorry]

Hi there CM,

Let me just start off by saying I believe everything you’ve just written – and it’s bad, it really is. This forum is a wonderful place where all abuse is understood and listened to, and I for one think you have described it very well. This is emotional abuse, it’s controlling you and it’s very worrying that he is ruining your phone and constantly putting you down. This namecalling is completely out of order too. And none of it, absolutely none of it is your fault.
Call Women’s Aid (their number is at the top of this page) if you can, they have a 24 hour service, and they can help with your specific situation and talk you through your options. It would simply be too unfair if the fact you have been in refuge before would somehow make you lose your children as it sounds like you have done all you could to give them a good stable life. That includes having gone into refuge, getting away from an abusive relationship is always a good thing, so I really hope WA can help discuss with you and if you are concerned about your children, I am sure they can also point you in the direction of legal help or maybe you can contact your local CAB. It does sound like that might be difficult with the constant supervision you are under, but please try. You deserve so much better than this.
Keep posting on here, it’s a safe place to do so.

[EbonyRaven]

Hi ChunkyMunky. That absolutely is abuse. I bet he wasn’t that way in the very beginning, these people are such good actors when we first meet them, and they sweep us off our feet. Please don’t worry about seeking help, no-one is going to judge you for that.
You must have been very vulnerable too when he latched on to you.
The things he calls you are awful, but they won’t mean you’ll lose the children. Try and contact a support agency and talk through it with them.
x

[Iwantmeback]

Hi CM, I believe every word you’ve written, why because my oh treats me and had treated me similarly. Please don’t not reach out just because you’ve gone down this road again. You just never saw the signs in the beginning, this is not your fault none of it. Please contact the helpline or your local office of you can’t get through. Personally speaking I’ll never entertain anither man romantically in my life, it’s not worth the hassle even if they’re not abusive. I’ve been with my oh half my life, more really. I just want peace and quiet now. Keep posting, keep gaining in strength from our posts. You will get him out of your life, how long that takes is your choice. Have you spoken to anyone about what’s going on, your doctor maybe. No-one will take your children away from you, that’s a threat these men use all the time. There’s so much gaslighting going on in your relationship too. Saying you’ve been brainwashed by WA so see all men as abusive. He is abusive and as such will never own up to it.
Help is there, just reach out, do it your way, whatever you need to do to get rid of him. Just take baby steps sweetheart, sometimes it’s all we can do.
IWMB 💞💞

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