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    • #119387

      (detail removed by Moderator) I had to call the police again on my ex partner. I’d told him that he will be seeing our daughter (detail removed by Moderator) days a week instead of everyday like he’s wanting. I was getting my daughter ready for bed and I heard a knock at the door, I didn’t know it was him till he started shouting (detail removed by Moderator) through our letter box and banging on the window. He was saying I’m disgusting for stopping him seeing her. He had already seen her that day so what he was saying wasn’t true.
      My daughter ran to open the door, I told her no but she started screaming and crying saying she wanted her dad. I asked him what he wanted and he kept saying I’m stopping her seeing him. I ended up calling 999 and he left. Police rang me back and have said it’s being passed to an incident team that will ring me back at some point. I just feel like he will carry on knocking on my door till I give in.

    • #119390
      KIP.
      Participant

      You absolutely did the right thing. He has no right to turn up and scare you like this. It’s intimidating behaviour designed to get you to cave in. If he wants regular access then there are appropriate channels to go through. Ring 999 every time he turns up to scare you and your daughter. Keep a record of every incident, the court won’t like this behaviour at all. Look at a non molestation order for you both and ask the police if they have the power to issue a domestic abuse order to prevent him coming near you x get in touch with your local woman’s aid too. They can often liaise with the police on your behalf x

    • #119394
      Empoweredhealing
      Participant

      Oh my gosh, that sounds terrible. Please call the police every time he harass, abuse and intimidate you like this. Let people know what’s happening. Your solicitor, women’s aid, therapist, GP, pediatrician, police… You’ll need a lot of advocates because he’ll continue to harass you as long as he thinks there are no consequences. You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone.

    • #119398

      No I agree, a court won’t look favourably on his behaviour at all.
      Incident team called me (detail removed by Moderator) and said what he’s done is illegal and I could press charges. Only thing is if I do that then he will go absolutely mental and keep my daughter when he sees her. I know he will refuse to bring her back and he will tell her “mummy got daddy arrested” etc etc.
      The police have already told me he doesn’t legally have to return her when he has contact so I have to tread carefully until I have something set in place legally unfortunately. Police have booked me in for a discussion about a non mol order on (detail removed by Moderator).

      • #119399
        Empoweredhealing
        Participant

        Non molestation order hopefully will deter him. That may give you a little breathing room to consider next steps. Great job working with police to handle this. What he’s doing is horrendous and not ok.

      • #119400

        Do I have to take him to court to get a non mol order? I feel sick at the thought of him getting a solicitor and ripping chunks out of me in a court

      • #119414
        Empoweredhealing
        Participant

        I think the normal process is you apply for a non-molestation injunction. The application consist of your descriptions of his abuse. He’ll be notified of the application and asked to come to a court hearing. If he admits to the abuse or doesn’t show up, you’ll automatically get the injunction. If he harass you and violate the order, he can be arrested.
        If you are afraid that he’ll be violent, then you can apply ex-parte. Meaning you’ll not have to face him in court and he’ll just be served with the order. At least this was my understanding from before.

        I know this scary and overwhelming so please lean on the police and WA. They can advise you on how to do this safely and can break it down to manageable steps.

    • #119402
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Well done for calling the police. That must have taken courage. Hold on to that courage to help you through what you need to do next, even if that is taking him to court. He doesn’t have to bring her back but equally, you do not have to hand her over to him. His behaviour is highly damaging for your child and as hard as it may be for your daughter in the short term, he has proved that he is an unfit parent to be left alone with her.

      When police are called they should automatically inform your daughters school. If she is still going to school it might be worth you trying to pick her up until you can get the necessary orders in place. He has just given you exactly what you need to get one.

      I can understand your fear of taking him to court but you must put your daughter first and do whatever you need to protect her. He sounds very unstable. Is he safe to be left unsupervised with her?

    • #119407

      Yes she’s still going to school. (detail removed by Moderator) I now do all the school pick ups so I’ve taken care of that.

      To be honest, he’s never actually really left unsupervised with her. He doesn’t have his own house, he lives with his mum, his step dad and his (detail removed by Moderator) brothers and sisters who my daughter adores. When me and my ex were together I had a good relationship with his siblings as they are quite a lot younger than the ex, some of them are still in school themselves. So my daughter doesn’t even really have that one on one time with my ex when she sees him anyway. She prefers to play with her aunties and uncles (the kids) up in their rooms or will go and sit with my ex’s mum and watch a film with her. It’s when he gets his own house that Id worry. I know he’s in no position to get his own house at the moment so I’m banking on getting some sort of order in place before he does so everything is set in stone.

    • #119429
      Eggshells
      Participant

      That’s good. I think I’d be tempted to jump on it ASAP rather than waiting until it looks like he’ll get his own place. Strike whilst the iron is hot so that the court can see that you are responding to the threat to your daughters mental health in a timely manner.

      He may be living with his mum but there is nothing to stop him disappearing off with her. He’d only need to be an hour late and you’d be frantic. Imagine if he took off for a couple of weeks with her but didn’t tell you. Atm, there is nothing to stop him doing that.

    • #119459

      Yeah of course. I have an appointment with the police (detail removed by Moderator) so I’m going to ask them about non mol order and a sole custody order.

    • #119460
      KIP.
      Participant

      Well done. Try to make sure it’s the domestic abuse police unit you deal with. They’re trained and I’ve always found them much more understanding and helpful x if you get a good one, get their contact details and hang onto them x

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