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    • #13231
      shine bright 2
      Participant

      hi,
      The police want me to be examined by the duty doctor…to look for internal scars. I think I’m too scared. I had my babies at home with a female midwife…Other than that my husband was the only one to touch me. I never even been for smear test because he wouldn’t let me and set if o am a Virgin I don’t need to.
      I’m really afraid, my husband took advantage of my naivity and told me that he could tell If I had been cheating my checking inside. He used his hands and other things and it really hurt. I’m scared I’m going to freak out or that it’s going to really hurt. when my husband raped me he would tell me to calm down and “relax” I’m scared that it’s going to feel the same
      Has anyone been through this? Please can anyone give me advise or just pray that I can get through it.

    • #13236
      katielove
      Participant

      I have been through an internal examination; the police doctor was incredibly sensitive and calming with me. It did not hurt but was a little uncomfortable at the start. Your husband sounds like an evil man who completely manipulated you. If you do ‘freak out’ the doctor will help you relax. The police must think it is very important to do this or they wouldn’t ask for an examination. I will be thinking of you x

    • #13237
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi there, if it’s really important maybe you could get a general anaesthetic to knock you out completely? maybe some meds to relax you. I’ve had an internal and it’s uncomfortable but wasn’t painful. Your ex is still in your head. Smear tests are important too for your future health. I would ask to speak to a female police doc and get her to reassure you. It might make all the difference to a conviction.

    • #13255
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Hi, ask for a female doctor and a sedative that makes you a bit sleepy. It will in no way feel like the horrible things your abuser did to you.
      You need to do the smear tests. They are only every 3 years. If you tell the nurse who does them your story they will be extra careful. Do not fear these people. They all want to help you.
      I had an investigation a few weeks ago and I told them that I was sexually abused. They were extra careful with me. Some investigations are necessary to keep us healthy.
      You are doing so well! Keep going! x*x

    • #13260
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi I would ask for a female doctor to make u feel more relaxed or have a female nurse with you to give u reassurance and pre tell them how uncomfortable you are with the examination , im sure they will be sentitive and bare this in mind

    • #13261
      Confused123
      Participant

      Dont have a examination let you be put off, your doing so well , i havent had this done but im sure they wont probe u in the way you maybe thinking, just take deep breaths and have some to support you, your be fine

    • #13379
      shine bright 2
      Participant

      Thanks.
      I think a sedative might be a good idea. I’m O a Hamed. not that he raped me, bit that I was so naive and stupid. I’m so scared to let them near me. He raped me in both ways so I think k that examining me there will hurt. He made it th that what he did was necessary… that if he didn’t get sex all the time he would be ill and that if he didn’t check to make
      me sure I was cheating he would crazy. I’m so ashamed how he would make me stay up all night. sometimes he would smoke and drink will I had to be “ready” for him….I hate myself. I don’t if they will find scare, but when he really raped me to punish me for leaving it really hurt me and I had to just sit I a warm bath so maybe there will be. It’s terrifying and I’m so so ashamed.

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