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I’ve had no choice but to involve the police after continuous phone calls, messages and then turning up up in person recently. He’s also got third parties involved which I knew he would.
I’ve reported him to the police for domestic violence to support the stalking/harassment. They have said they will speak to him to warn him that I want to be left alone etc but told me I can still get a non-molestation order put in place. They’re aware I’m not telling them the full story as I really don’t want to have to go to court, I just want to be left alone.
Does anyone know if you can report someone to be put under Clare’s Law without having to take them to court? I do think any future partners he has should be warned but equally I don’t want to have to go through the courts to do that. The police were actually amazing, I was very surprised. I know sadly not everyone has the same experience but I hope that gives anyone scared of reporting a bit of confidence. I didn’t have much faith in them but they were so knowledgeable on domestic violence and not once did I feel like I wasn’t believed. -
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Hi gettingtired,
Well done for reaching out to the police and getting them involved, I’m glad you had a good experience so far. They will have recorded what you have told them, they will legally have to record a stalking/harassment crime, it may have been recorded as a ‘first instance harassment’ at this time. Make sure you get a crime number. Any further incidents of harassment/stalking will be added to this. If a ‘course of conduct’ is found they will act on it and arrest him, they will ask you to give a statement. You may not have to go to court, he could plead guilty if there is evidence to support it.
This report that you have made will now show up on a future Clare’s Law request, along with any further reports that you make.
Please report all further contact from him. Remember this is the most dangerous time for you now that you have left him. You sound quite clear and determined now that you have left him and left him for good, so make sure you send the message loud and clear to him by enforcing the law of harassment and stalking if you have to. Several reports to the police in a short period of time are not wasting police time or ‘bothering’ them, these reports are a clear indication to the police that you are being affected by criminal behaviour that you do not want. The more frequently you are having to contact them about his behaviour is an indication of an increase in the risk he poses to you, which should up their level of response. When you reported him you should have been asked a series of questions about past abuse and behaviour, these are known as DASH questions (Domestic Abuse, Stalking, Harassment.) Your answers to these indicate whether you are classed as being at STANDARD, MEDIUM, or HIGH risk of future harm from him.
Non Mol Orders will cost you money, even if you get one subsidised. If you do it yourself on line you will have to pay the court a fee for it to be served on him. If he is criminally harassing you and continues to do so then report him and go through the criminal process. He will be given bail conditions not to contact you and if he gets found guilty you will get a Protection From Harassment Order (Restraining Order) to prevent him from contacting you. As this is all through the justice system it is free.
Stay strong, stay empowered, have faith in yourself, you’re doing really well 🙂
xx
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Hi WTH,
Thank you so much for all of the helpful advice you’ve given me there. The justice system is a lot to get your head around especially with the stress I’m dealing with currently.
From what they’ve told me he will either be arrested or invited in voluntarily I think they said. I’ve already been told it’s being classed as high risk from my answers I gave them.
They’ve had to keep attending welfare checks due to his suicide threats and have now told him in no uncertain terms to not contact me. I’m hoping his arrest will be enough to make him stop harassing me as I really don’t want to have to go to court but I’m aware it may have to happen. I don’t know where this strength I suddenly have has come from. I think I was so beyond done with his behaviour and I can now see how much better and stress-free my life is without him. Even in this very short space of time being away from him. I think I was just living off of stress and anxiety and feeling dead inside.
Thank you so much again for your advice and support xx
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