Poor parenting skills or control…

[Liquorice]

I had to work a few hours (detail removed by Moderator), shorter shift than usual but still husband was to put our little one to bed at his uaual time (detail removed by Moderator). I came home and they were just getting up to go up the stairs, naturally little one wants me to take him up now and starts to whinge, i give cuddles and say off to bed for daddy now and ill see you in the morning to play, husband says stop whinging and helps him up the stairs, little one cries more, husband says things like stop whining or ill give you something to cry about, and stop being a woose, cleans his teeth and i thought took him to bed. He went to sleep fine but im just not sure any more of what is ok and just diff parenting styles or what is anger and control?

[Iwantmeback]

Hi liquorice, I remember when I was with my ex I didn’t like him chastising our children. I took full control of being the disciplinarian, but not sure why maybe because my mum did it and my dad only got involved if and when we pushed my mum. When my oh moved in, we never spoke about any of the day to day living, issues which may arise. He was always on my side, do as your mum says, sort of thing. But he slowly took over more and more, I was grateful at first, but mummy tiger got riled but she wasn’t strong enough to put a stop to him because his ways were subtle and insidious and sounded so plausible, because by then I was accused of undermining him, or he’d make a fool of me and get my daughter on his side.
Can you have a wee chat with him, let him know you don’t like him saying those things to the wee one, as it could be seen as abusive by outsiders. You’ll know by his reaction how to proceed. He has to know that toughening up boys is not seen as a good thing nowadays but it won’t be easy. Men dont like being undermined or being told what they’re doing is abusive. Depends if he’s adult enough to see the bigger picture. You’ll know best how to proceed.i hope what I’ve written hadn’t confused you more, parenting children should always be a joint effort, if one over rides the other and it’s their way only, then it would be cause for concern.

Best wishes
IWMB 💕💕

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