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    • #34038
      Sadandconfused
      Participant

      I have had a long running issue with an ex partner. (detail removed by Moderator) Recently although hours away we seem to have been found again. I have installed CCTV and had Police out. One of the officers has reported me to Adult Social Services and said that i’m ‘Paranoid’ someone has broken into my house and left the door open and done various things but taken nothing familiar pattern…
      The social worker when she rang couldn’t apologize enough but i’m devastated. He always said no one would believe me. They encouraged me to report everything and now this.
      He hasn’t been contacted nothing. I live like a prisoner, have missed time off work and been violated yet again and my being upset that he has been in my home makes me mentally ill? Social services said it was ridiculous but the damage is done i’m beside myself how can I ever call them again?

    • #34042
      Racoon
      Participant

      I’m so sorry you received such poor support from the police. No wonder people don’t bother to report things it’s so frustrating and devestating that they could label you as paranoid. Please do make a formal complaint about it. It’s the only way things change. I don’t know but Women’s Aid or alternative domestic violence support local to you may be able to support you or take the complaint them on your behalf.

    • #34051
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Wow. Please ring Rights of Women.
      You need to make a complaint.
      Also involve your local MP.

      That is terrible.
      Do not let this discourage you.
      You know what is going on. Stick to your guns and keep reporting. Make notes of every incident. Write this incident down for yourself in detail. You may get a chance to report this to a newspaper one day.

    • #34067
      Sadandconfused
      Participant

      Thanks guys its really knocked me the idea he was in my house was bad enough they told me to report any little thing I do and then this happens. He was pretty rude at the house but reporting me to SS adult and kids? Luckily our SW who has never had any problem with me ever took no notice. Its a small station to be honest i’m quite scared of what the reaction is going to be if I complain. How a High Risk DV victim, subject of a MARAC and with a case proven in court can be paranoid I don’t know… The mental health social worker was amazed I was in one piece after it all let alone a bit nervous she was so sorry but its made me wary now i’ll not be reporting a thing I can’t 100% prove. The joke is by reporting as I did we got the case proven if all had been like him I dread to think where we would be now.

    • #34068
      Sadandconfused
      Participant

      The officer actually said to me “I bet you used to be a confident person before all of this..” What a comment to make? (detail removed by Moderator) The first officer wasn’t great who came initially but I rang back very upset when various inquiries proved the length of time someone could have been here and the sent a plain clothes woman who was lovely that (detail removed by Moderator) has ruined all my faith in ten minutes. I’m just so very tired of fighting everyone. I get its “unexplained” but since when does the victim become insane and the most likely guilty get never ending benefit of the doubt?

    • #34075
      Racoon
      Participant

      Is it possible that the social worker can have a quiet word with the officer involved in order to point out the absolute stupidity of the comments made/ and SS referral considering the case history. It could be done in such a way that it’s not a direct complaint but just working together for a safer community. Isn’t that the purpose of the marac to be working as a team of professionals in the community. If it’s a small community and your a high risk case officers should be fully aware of your circumstances anyway shouldn’t they? Sorry just going off on one now cause I’m so frustrated for you.

    • #34086
      Sadandconfused
      Participant

      She said that it would be fed back and it was ludicrous apparently shes had referrals for a dirty kitchen before too from the same station. I’m just devastated the one thing no one apart from ex has ever said is that i’m paranoid and mentally ill I am so upset by it its the biggest insecurity of mine it really is. I have been under huge pressure for years now we had a period of 6 months where I thought it had calmed down and here we are back again its pulled the rug totally and i’m just so exhausted.

    • #34096
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I know what its like to have poor police service. My ex is a monster and a danger to women. I will not stop i will keep fighting thus monster till i get justice!! Stay strong hun xx

    • #34097
      Sadandconfused
      Participant

      Mine is a proven one and against a child too but i’m still bonkers? The system is disgusting I felt sorry for the social worker she was truly mortified what a waste of peoples time. I’m seeing my solicitor next week and will definitely be telling her about it and my support worker. That officer has basically undone months of feeling better after years of being called a liar and a fantasist by the ex.

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