Positive experience with new counsellor

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi ladies,

I just wanted to share that I have finally have a counsellor, I met her recently and I instantly liked her. I spent the first session talking non stop about my ex and it was so helpful to just let it all flow out. What was wonderful was that she didn’t look like she didn’t believe when I told her some of the more crazy sounding things, the kinds of things that sound like they are from a horror/thriller film and not real life.

My ex was incredibly subtle in his abuse and manipulations that it can make me sound like the crazy one if I try to explain it to people who are unfamiliar with abuse and they say heart-sinking things like ‘oh I’m sure he didn’t mean it, or maybe he forgot’ *rolls eyes*. For example, he was the master of subtle evil gaslighting such as breaking things in my house then calmly saying he hadn’t been in the room where the broken object was, when there was only me and him in the house. I’m pretty sure he also used to strategically delete my text messages to engineer certain situations in his favour and to cause me chaos and stress, and he often used to tell me that I was imagining things. It still gives me chills remembering the things he did, he was so creepy. It’s so weird thinking that for all that time I thought we were this healthy partnership, that he was someone I could trust; it still kind of shocks me that the true narrative of what ws happening was much, much more sinister. I have such confusion still comparing the ‘sweet and innocent’ man I thought I’d met at the beginning to the sadistic misogynist I was fleeing from at the end.

Anyway, I have a good feeling about this counsellor and like she already gets it. I am looking forward to having someone to talk to every week about what happened to me as it is always bubbling away in my mind, I still think of him daily, not in a fond way but in a ‘I can’t believe how awful that was’ kind of way. I hope it helps to calm down my thoughts. She said that I’d experienced a trauma, which felt so validating because I felt like what happened to me wasn’t bad enough to call a trauma, and her saying that made me think ‘no wonder this has been such a painful and difficult thing to get through.’

[Serenity]

I’m so pleased for you, Sunshine!

I remember the overwhelming sense of relief and validation I felt when I first went to DV counselling. Finally, someone understood!

I’m returning to counselling for a while, as I really feel I could do with that free-flowing explaining of my situation in a safe environment for a bit.

Enjoy the support! x

[Author]

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