Pregnant again

[oaktree]

I am worried how he will be. He is thrilled with the news and has been really lovely apart from the odd occasion where he has had a go at me for being lazy (I was chucking up at the time…..)
He had moments where he got angry with our first child for not sleeping at night and ‘wetting herself’….she was about 2 weeks old. I worry that he might lose his temper. I don’t know if I am over-reacting though, he never hurt our first child…..he loses his temper and threatens stuff….
He is a great dad for most of the time though, its ages since he really lost his rag……

[KIP.]

You really need to speak to someone. Your partners behaviour is highly abusive and dangerous. Please ring the helpline number on here. Getting angry with a two week old baby is a huge red flag. Having a go at a pregnant woman for throwing up is a huge red flag. Not to mention cruel and horrible and selfish. He is not a good dad if he abuses their mother. You’re not over reacting. It’s your gut trying to warn you that abuse always gets worse. He’s probably happy that you’re more trapped than ever with two babies.

[oaktree]

i have really struggled to talk to anyone as I don’t want to make it ‘official’. I’m worried as whenever I think about telling someone they make a point of saying if they think that a child is in danger they will have to inform social services or the police or whoever. I posted a while ago that I saw a psychosexual and relationship counsellor and I thought about telling her, i even kind of hinted….but then I bottled out.
I don’t think my daughter is in danger if I thought she was I would do something but I really don’t think she is, but if they thought it then social services got involved, then he would find out I had been talking about it and he would be so mad, and then maybe its all in my head and people would think I was just making it up or being over dramatic, then I might lose my children…….it all just seems to spiral out of control….

[fizzylem]

Hi Oaktree, I’d just like to echo KIP, I fully agree. Your post sounds to me like you have been alone with your thoughts for way too long and your full of self doubt – this is classic abused behaviour.

No one is going to take your kids off you and no one is going to know you have talked, any professional you deal with who works with domestic abuse knows the issues well. It will be confidential and discreet.

I really think you need to start talking about this with someone who will understand, the WA helpline or could you go the local city Refuge? Refuge being the organisation that helps abused women, not as in a refuge for women to stay, if you ring the helpline they can tell you whats in your area – you might feel safer going somewhere to talk?

Please act x

[Tiffany]

Just wanted to echo everyone else. Please reach out for help. It doesn’t sound like you or your child are safe. I know what it is like to think that despite their flaws your partner will never hurt you. I believed this for months after he started punching me and suffocating me. Abuse does weird things to your mind and stops you thinking straight.

[Author]

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