Pregnant, nowhere to go

[AnaEllis]

Hi everyone, I’ve been in a hotel for a few days now as my partner kicked me out of his house. Few months ago he asked me to move in with him, I gave up my flat and my job. I got pregnant. As we lived together I found out that he’s lied about many things, using and involved with drugs. We’re staying in a small room, we were planning to move after the baby’s born. I got isolated, I don’t have a family or friends I could turn to. I’m ashamed. We have problems communicating with each other. If I want to discuss something or we plan something he never follows through. I’m very organised and like planning things, setting up goals and work towards them, he only does things he feels like doing. This created many arguments, he says I’m controlling. But unfortunately we can’t find common ground as he gets hostile, aggressive and violent. He won’t listen to me, won’t let me speak only looking for an argument, smashing things, kicking me, sitting on my chest so I can’t breathe, I can’t live like this. He verbally abuses me for days so I get so overwhelmed with stress and anxiety that I can’t drink or eat, I keep throwing up everything. I only want a safe, warm and loving environment for my baby. I’m staying in a hotel now. I have some money but without a job I can’t rent a place. Went to housing, they couldn’t help me. I need a job but I feel so hopeless and exhausted I think I’m having a breakdown. I wanted to raise my daughter in a family, I can’t have her in temporary accommodations. This creates me so much anxiety that I feel paralysed and completely hopeless. I have nobody I could talk to. Only death seems to be a solution for this mess. I set up the rope to hang myself and I’m trying to get some clarity waiting for him to reach out, to tell me everything is going to be fine, so we can live a normal life. But he blames me for all of his problems and hates me. I definitely will not contact him. But I can’t stay in hotels much longer. I don’t know what to do. Thanks for any advice.

[diymum@1]

Please call the help line hun xx going into refuge would be best for now so that you can get the right support 🤗😘 you’ll be ok youve done the right thing for you and the baby. WA will help you get all the practicalities in place for you and your lovely baby to be. Reach out and call them just now and let us know how you are sweet heart xx sending you a hug 🤗 love diymum xx

[Fudgecake]

Hello, your first step in writing on the forum is a starting point. You will get a lot of advice/ support here. You need to contact WA and tell them your situation. They will be able to advise you on what to do next and any support services that can help. Things may seem dark and hopeless right now but you will make it through this. Talk to your GP and the Samaritans too. They will listen to you and pinpoint some helpful information too. Do you have any family member you can contact? It won’t hurt to try them and see if they will offer some support too. Keep posting on the forum as it will be a source of comfort to know there are others who understand and have experienced similar experiences to yours. Stay strong and you can make it through this.

[Lisa]

Hi there Ana, welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear about everything that you are going through and how you are feeling at the moment. You and your baby deserve to have safe accommodation. You do not deserve the abuse that you have experienced. I am glad that you have found the forum so that we can support you to access the support you deserve.

I am sorry that the housing team were not helpful. Regarding emergency accommodation, you could contact a Support Worker from Women’s Aid via our live chat where you can chat in confidence about your situation. Support workers will not tell you what to do but they can give support, practical information, and discuss with you any options that are available based on your specific circumstances. For more information about the chat service please go to: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

The National Domestic Violence Helpline are available on 0808 2000 247 they can help you to find a refuge.

If you haven’t done so already, please talk to your midwife about how you are feeling. Remember that the Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123 if you need to talk about how you are feeling.

You can find the details for your local domestic abuse service here, they will be able to offer ongoing practical and emotional support.

Keep posting, let us know how you are doing.

Best wishes

Lisa

[AnaEllis]

Thank you!

[Author]

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