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    • #49915
      browneyedgirl
      Participant

      Now I understand that there was sexual abuse and the effect it has had on me I have decided to press charges. It ranged from as simple as his ignoring me till we had sex or presurising me into sex to me waking up knickerless and sore downstairs with no recollection why.

      A member of staff from the rape counceling charity rang the police to report it for me and were going to support me through the whole process. A week later I waited there for almost 3 hours for CID to turn up before being told their new system forgot my appointment. Made a new appointment the following week but to save waiting 2 weeks I agreed to have it at the house on my own (as the lady couldn’t make it) with a different officer.

      It was traumatic, my sleep issues escalated in the days before but I got through it. Then yesterday afternoon, I had a phone call to say I have now been assigned to a 3rd officer and he would like to come to meet me before we make an appointment for my video evidence. I knew it was going to be hard but it feels like I am being told not to do this. I cant access councelling whilst this is going on and not only are my nightmares getting worse and I wake terrified he is in bed with me, I cant sleep. This is hell. I am right back where I was before he left.

    • #49932
      Indiansummer
      Participant

      Hi Browneyedgirl,

      I’m so sorry that you have to be going through all this.

      It also must be devastating to face the bureaucratic hurdle on top of all of it.

      Best of luck to you, darling
      Maybe try to raise this issue through the IDVA service? They could complain on your behalf
      Stay strong x

    • #49936
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi, don’t let them tell you you can’t access councelling. That’s an outdated approach. It stems from the defence possibly using the argument that councelling put ideas in your head which is nonsense x

    • #49937
      KIP.
      Participant

      There is no time limit for reporting sexual crimes so don’t put yourself under pressure. Your mental health comes first. Try writing everything down. That’s what I did and showed it to the first police officers. I was too traumatised to speak about it. It really is a hard process and I was met with much worse than you but go for it. It’s worth it.

    • #50033
      Sunshine
      Participant

      Hi browneyedgirl,

      Just wanted to pop in and say stay strong, it must be so traumatic reliving this. X

    • #50076
      Moocha
      Participant

      I understand fully where you are coming from and you seem like a very brave person.
      I had a harrassing message from my ex partner (detail removed by Moderator), threatening me with the small claims court over not being able to collect possessions from my house, which he was given (detail removed by Moderator) days to collect and failed to do so. If anyone needs to go to court it ought to be me, for the physical, sexual, financial, psychological and emotional abuse that I have only recently escaped from.

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