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Hi all. I can’t believe it’s nearly Christmas again. This time last year I was dreading it, this year, I can feel jyst a smidgen of excitement. I’ve been out fir a number of months now, WAS going stir crazy with all my boxes and bags cluttering up the place, but like everything else it’s amazing what you get used to. I’m classed as a priority for housing now, my question is,do I wait to see if I get housed by the local authority where I’m currently living, or where I want to go or do I see if I can get private lets in the area I want to go to. I’m happy where I am, able to save, have a good few months still left in which to stay, get stronger mentally and emotionally, the only downside if waiting is that there’s contact with my ex, there’s still an element of control, of going round in circles. I guess I jyst need to write down the pros and cons, try and figure out what’s really stopping me taking the next steps. Healing, getting stronger is definitely done in stages. How I wish it was straight forward, that we had the strength to just up and go, walk away without a backward glance.
Anyway jyst wanted to write down my thoughts, let yous know that I am doing okay, better than okay some days. The fact that I’m actually happy, can recognise that emotion, that in itself is just awesome.
Take care everyone, jyst keep taking the baby steps.
IWMB 💞💞 -
Hey lovely lady, I would say go for what you want in life, find out where and what property you want and go for this, life’s short and we’ve already wasted enough of it on these men! Side stepping is ok as a temp measure, and clearly there is a good saving factor of great benefit here, but when it comes to housing, a temp measure often turns into long time, not just when dealing with DA, in general for most, unless you’ve got wads of course and pay for help, but not many do hey. Your home and where you live is one of the most important decisions we can make because we ‘live’ in it every day and tap into the surroundings too so we need to feel happy with it, it effects our mental health and wellbeing either for the better or worse. You’re free now to get the life you really want IWMB! And once you do you really have recovered and got past it all xx
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Personally I have chosen to explore social housing as opposed to private rented. The reason being that private rented is expensive, despite me having a relatively well paid job, and often not very well maintained. There’s also the worry that a landlord may decide to sell up, not pay bills etc. When I’m out I want stability for my kid. Social housing is so much cheaper and would give me some breathing space. I get no maintenance from my child’s dad (another delightful man!) so I’m completely on my own.
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My take is that there is no harm in looking. You don’t have to commit to a private rental even if you go and look at it. Just make sure everything you look at is in budget. If you find a private let you really like, you can go for it. If you don’t find the perfect place you wait for whatever the council offers. This might not be perfect either, but is likely to be cheaper, as others have pointed out, so as long as it was a safe location for you, and a place where you feel safe, it would be fine. You also generally have a bit more flexibility to change things in a council property I think – painting walls etc is allowed, whereas in private rentals it generally isn’t.
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For me I think I’d prefer my landlord to be the council rather than an unknown person who could end up being an abuser as there are so many about. I think dealing with the council would be more stable. Also the council rent as opposed to a private rent would ensure I stayed financially self-supporting even if my hours were reduced in my job etc
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