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I cant stop thinking about things..i feel my ex had a mental health condition. Suffered in the past!! ..like ptsd … but why did he project it onto me … i know he was playing a game! He wanted to destroy me .why why me .why did he make me sick all i did was love him. I gave him my all but he could not handle that ..he wanted me to be dependent on him!! As iam independent strong and an empathy.. he has issues!! I wont let him destroy me.ive fought all my life . Used.as an empathy its sad at times because people drain my energy .
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I have a mental health condition. Borderline/ Emotionally Unstable personality disorder. I take full responsibility for my actions. I feel guilt. I try to protect others from my raging episodes. I take sedating medication or stay in my flat or call the police and ambulance on myself. I find other people who understand and actually care are calming. It’s worse when I am alone or when I’m with someone like an abuser who plays on it and triggers it and then points the finger at me to say I need to be in a straight jacket and locked away with the key thrown away. No one not even people with severe psychosis deserves that. This is the twenty first century not Victorian times.
He’s an abuser.. Of course he has abuser issues.
Just avoid toxic people and put boundaries in place to keep yourself safe.
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I often think the same about my partner. He seems to project all sorts of things on to me and blame me for them when, in reality I am not thinking anything of the sort. I’m just trying to cope with the things that have happened to me in my life, and to do the best I can. I feel as though he takes out all his frustrations on me and blames me for them. But I don’t want to be his scapegoat any more and he won’t take responsibility for his unhappiness.
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Iam not blaming myself. I just loved the monster till I seen his game .. but iam on the road to recovery now thank you for your comments xx
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…interesting thread…I know from researching his behaviour is BPD raging, anger, thrill seeking, irresponsible, self centred, dillusional,denial withdrawal,no emotional intelligence, awkward social skills, loner in many ways, lazy,ugly, jealous,full of hatred, unhelpful, wrecking negative, destructive, twisted manipulation, & all that is him…& more….
Then along comes the opposite of all the above…full of empathy, kindness,helpful, independent, pro active, fit!, going places, got ideas,full of fun, friends, assertive, emotionally centred (was), together, open & honest….& more.
The 2 just do not mix, he’s an cunning violent opportunist who projected all of his vile nastiness on me….as you say tried to destroy me. Evil V Good.
Thank God I’m out of his black hole, he leeched off me long enough….I feel like I’ve been living with a real monster. It will improve but these are early days, & it’s so so tough realising all this & being alone.
Group hugs x*x
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One of my dearest friends has BPD. Like Sahara says, she feels great guilt at her ‘bad moments’ and works very hard to keep on track, putting things in place to help herself and protect those she loves.
I think an abuser is someone wholly different: as Cuppa so accurately put it, a violent opportunist – someone without guilt, who actually gets a high from limiting and destroying people. X
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I will destroy him tomorrow!
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I will fight till the end hun xx
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