- This topic has 10 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 4 months ago by
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No chance sorry to say , his seen you are moving on , happier and wants to jeopardise your future , his losing his control over you so is trying another tactic to play with your mind and emotions, leave him in your past , concentrate on your future , don’t look back and don’t let him get in your head and play with your heart . They never change , they are not capable, they only tell you what they think you want to hear or keep you stuck with them , all manipulation. It’s all worthless empty promises , I heard sooooo many times from my ex exact same thing your hearing , lasts one to two days max , then once they think they got you back in their control it all reverses back again. Don’t be conflicted, shut that door , firmly behind you x
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Zero chance. Even if there was a chance what’s he done to show you – not just ‘tell’ you he’s changed/will change. He’s just playing a game to ruin your new relationship. If you went back he’d be nastier than before (after the honeymoon period) and highly likely to dump you so he feels like ‘he’s won’. Don’t do it x
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This is what keeps me here with him. The hope that one day he will realise what he is doing hurts what he says hurts, he will realise and change.
I stay in the hope that one day he will stop ive stayed over 2 decades I am a mess.
They dont change.
And even if they did could we ever trust them again?
Would we ever lose that terrible feeling in the pit of our tummies? No I dont think we ever will. He is sad for himself he has lost you an incredable strong brave woman so he cries and is sorry not for what he did to you but for himself.
We must look foward not back eyes front sweetie xxxxxx -
Your ex has popped up again as he would have sensed a shift in you, they sense shifts and react… yours is saying words, just words…. you have a new relationship so he will want to sabotage that… once you leave the gloves are off, don’t listen to him. If he has changed he would respect your decision to leave, accept accountability and get on with life… not crying, swearing he has changed, promising he will behave as he now understands how badly he abused you.
Next he will pester you to just ‘hear him out” to ‘just listen’ and how unfair you are being. Non of it is true, just the start of his game to win.
Keep strong and trust your gut not his words❤️
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So very true , very well said above ! When I decided to leave for good and end the relationship, I got all the tears , how unfair I was in my treatment to him , which is laughable in itself! Barage of texts of how immature Iam for not responding to his pleas , how unlovable I am , and this is a person who claims to love me and is sorry for what he has done and respects my decision to move on . All these creatures give is heartache & misery and sugar coated b******t x
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Why is he doing this now you are with someone else.
Is he trying to control you with this emotional display?
I do not believe they ever change – mine would sit there and declare he was going to go to counseling and never did.
I always feared him hurting new male companions to – not that he ever saw them.
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full responsibility, crying, apologising and swearing it’ll never happen again…. that’s not taking any responsibility.. those are only words and crying to manipulate.. if he showed you what he had done, which courses, spoke openly about learning about the abuse he put you through and continued to respect your boundaries then maybe yes.. but saying words and crying for who? I bet for himself? No, he hasn’t changed ❤
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I guess the question is what evidence or actions has he shown that this is the case.
You know I think to myself, how much I miss the guy I was seeing… I wonder if he had specialist help on control and went through with it could we be saved…
Then today after a few days of missing him, I thought of a few things he did which were really wrong that I didnt even have on my radar until now and I thought to myself… how could he do this to me. I would never trust him with my heart and physical safety.
No going back.
I guess those are the questions I would ask myself:
What actions, not words has he shown to prove he has changed?
How has he acted in the past when I have been upset, would he give me the space to slowly in my own time build the relationship, or will he instantly expect me to move on from all previous pain?
Do I trust him with my emotional and physical well being?I think maybe answer those questions as honestly as you can then listen to your gut.
Not sure how most people deal with new relationships after abuse, does your new partner know about the ex and what you went through? If you are happy with him as a partner maybe confide in him somewhat even if it’s just to say you are struggling a bit mentally at the moment and give him a chance to support and ground you. Or even if you can go out on a nice date, do something physical maybe give your mind a break.
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