Proof I am healing- no longer need a crutch.

[Serenity]

I never used to drink at all, but in the last five years of my abusive marriage, I would depend upon my glass of wine to calm me down.

I realise now that I needed a crutch in the evening. It was desperately hard to get through 24 hours, and a whole evening at home with him.

After he left, and I was in such pain, I relied upon wine a little too often to numb me. I couldn’t imagine not having a glass most days. It was my crutch.

Now, I barely touch it. I can go days and now it will be weeks without needing such a crutch. I’ve gone back to the old me. I will only drink socially from now on.

I realise it’s because he is away from me. Days can pass peacefully, and roll into one another, without any abuse in the house.

Much has been said on this forum about abusers being alcoholic and more abusive as a result. Not much has been mentioned about victims and alcohol. Sometimes, it can help dull your senses, and lessen the pain, but it’s a slippery slope to start on.

I think this proof that I am much stronger in myself.

[Malaya]

Hi Serenity
That’s fantastic. These men strip us of our ability to cope with anything don’t they? So it makes sense you used your wine as a coping strategy, others probably do the same or smoke cigarettes or weed. I stopped smoking 40 a day and went on to vaping which I used constantly. I guess in time as we get stronger and cope better, those things will reduce

It shows how far you have come xx

[Free Fairy]

It shows just how strong you’re becoming, that not only don’t you need that from stress relief, but that you can recognise the crutch it was. That’s wonderful Serenity!

[Healthyarchive]

Congratulations Serenity, its actually shocking when we look back & see what habits we are forced to start just to be able to cope. I do not really drink alcohol, perhaps one bottle of wine a year would be my limit. I remember back when I were with my ex, he was a regular drinker and I became so too. I realized today that in the past xx months since we split up I have not had one drop of alchohol, when i were with him I would have it 3 or 4 times a week. He were so controlling, he would measure the wine that I were allowed and make a comment if I took slightly more. It were an issue if he paid for the alcohol, if he paid I would be on guard as to how much I were allowed. X*X

[Author]

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