Proving a relationship is abusive

[Nefertiti]

I have put up with emotional & financial abuse for a long time but, since my husband began working from home during lockdown, his controlling behaviour is removing all joy from my life. I am planning to leave but want to know if anyone has experience of proving to a housing authority that a relationship is abusive and how difficult that is.

From my reading, I gather that to put up with abuse and not talk about it is normal, but do the council housing people know that? Will they understand the impact of emotional abuse? Or will they say that I have deliberately made myself homeless?

[Twisted Sister]

Hello Nefertiti

it is written in law, in the Housing Act. Yes, though, you would need to be able to state incidents of his abusing you. Maybe if you speak to your local domestic abuse organisation, I am sure that they could walk you through the process, and they would be able to point you to Refuges that you could go to whilst you get back on your feet.

Also, if you are currently housed by the local housing authority, do write to them and ask about having him removed due to his abusing you, because he is making himself homeless in abusing you, and you can get a non-molestation/occupation order against him if you needed to keep him away.

Its a lot to think about, and yes, for a very long time most don’t discuss their situation behind closed doors, as they often wouldn’t dare for fear of being caught out and accused of lying/facing consequences from him for ‘disloyalty’ (which it isn’t).

Do keep talking and letting us know how you get on.

warmest wishes

ts

[Nefertiti]

Thanks TS. I know it is written in the law, but I was wondering how well it works in practice.

[Twisted Sister]

Probably best to write to them stating the situation, askimg them to be careful about him getting wind of this, so they contact you in a way he cannot know about, or you could call back to follow up.

I’m sure a DA service would be able to advise you on this further, as to whether LHA’s do stick to the laws on this, and how you go about it in practice.

Let us know how you get on.

warmest wishes

ts

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