This topic contains 8 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Borntobefree 6 months, 1 week ago.

  • Author
  • #71996

    My ex has just been diagnosed with a particular type of PTSD, which he says is the root cause of his behaviour. What do you think? Just another excuse?

  • #71997

    I have PTSD and I would never ever hurt another person. Does he hurt other people or did he just save his behaviour for you, behind closed doors. How do you know he has a diagnosis? Abusers are liars and whoever is passing this information onto you is not your friend. You need to go total zero contact and that includes social media and any ‘mutual’ friends that will keep feeding you ‘news’. I know you’re hoping for a miracle, I know it’s hard to accept that he chose to hurt you. But that’s what he does. He has shown you his true colours, you have seen behind his mask, believe it. Even if he did have PTSD he is not your responsibility. Hang in there, stick to your recovery plan and keep going x

  • #71999

    Your ex’s diagnoses are not your responsibility. There is a massive problem with psychiatric diagnoses as there is no definitive test. If someone chooses to look up the symptoms they can be diagnosed with whatever they like.

    Focus on yourself. Why does he think it’s important that you know? I expect it’s to make you feel guilty, and it’s another stick to beat you with.

  • #72030

    The abuse definitely wasn’t behind closed doors. He’d verbally abuse me in front of pretty much anyone. The physical stuff was more limited but not just to me. I just got the worst of it.

    I was just interested in people’s views really. For my part, whilst I accept that it can make people aggressive, it’s more the lies he’s told I can’t forgive. Telling people (including the police) that I’m the aggressor. That I have issues I need to sort out.

    I don’t have any plans to withdraw my statement or change my plans. I know what I have to do, although I wont deny, I’d love him to change. Head has to rule heart right now.

  • #72034

    I know how you feel. I was truly shocked when he lied to the police but in reality when I look at all his other behaviour (which I minimised), lying to the police was just par for the course. Put himself first, save his skin, make me out to be unstable and discredit me. Then play the victim. Not an ounce of morality or human decency. I’m glad he is no longer in my life. In reality who would want such a person around them. I now know just how traumatised and brain washed I really was and you too will realise in time. Stick to your plan and hold him accountable. My ex had zero respect for me.

  • #72048

    I have every intention to hold him accountable. Up to now, I’ve just been an enabLer. And he thought he could carry on treating me like rubbish and get away with it. And every time he did, it just emboldened him. Who does he think he is??

    Ooh, I’ve gone all angry now.

  • #72051

    Good for you Landy, getting angry keeps things in perspective. PTSD is dreadful, being an abuser who hides behind it, that’s worse. You are a totally formidable lady now, go you. 💪💜

  • #72052

    Lol. I don’t always feel it. I’ve spent a lot of time feeling tearful and confused, missing him. But then I remember what a controlling anod violent (detail removed by Moderator) he was and I know I’m doing the right thing. He didn’t feel sorry for me while he was abusing me. I won’t feel sorry for him now he’s facing a prison sentence. He deserves it. No one has the right to do what he did to me.

  • #72061

    I was diagnosed with PTSD but would never ever hurt another soul ..I feel my ex had a mental illness but that was not an excuse to hurt me !! He lied to police and he got away with his actions and obviously I was to blame

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.


© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account