PTSD and panic is 100/10 right now

[Tiredone]

I have to fly to a conference today and I can feel my anxiety turning into wild panic. I haven’t been able to get to an airport let alone on a plane for over a year. The last time I tried I had a huge meltdown and locked myself in my flat for a week. After that episode I was diagnosed with PTSD.

It’s the conference of the year and will be attended by many of my peers so there’s added pressure to network and be “normal”. To make matters worse my name is on the online delegate list so I’m convinced that my ex is going to be there. I don’t want to go. I want to stay in bed where it’s safe.

I can’t get on that plane. What do I do?

[Confused123]

hi hun

how about getting on that plane to prove a point u are not going to let your ex still take over your life, could any of your work peers go with u on the plane, if u do bang into ex ask someone else to deal with him, these men have spoilt our lives enough dont let him continue , do u have any tablets to calm yourself down from the anxiety

[Serenity]

Hi there,

I had exactly the same thing happen just after my ex went. I had to go to a work conference away from home and act ‘normal’ around my peers.

I was in major panic mode. In the end, I ended up calling the lady who was heading it and told her I didn’t think I could go. She is very nice, and asked me why. I ended up telling her, and she said that she hoped I would go, and that if I did I would get comfort and support.

I did end up going. I did get much love and support too, but it was hard. There were times in the conference that I couldn’t cope and needed time out and lay crying on my hotel bed ( it didn’t help that my ex was texting me threats at the time; he knew I was working away from home and was purposely trying to destabilise me).

I’m glad I did go, because I proved to myself that I could at least carry my physical person there! But I would say, if you do go, be very kind to yourself. Don’t push yourself too much. If you have someone you can confide in there who you can trust, then you could ask for support, but if not and it all gets too much, say you feel unwell and take some time to lie in the comfy hotel bed or somewhere else peaceful and just deep breathe. I don’t agree with pushing yourself too much when you are in the throes of PTSD:I believe in pacing yourself and taking things slowly.

Just to let you know, I recently drove to this year’s conference – hundreds of miles away- and had a lovely time. A huge change from a couple of years ago. The feeling of a panic was only very slight and was mostly replaced with a feeling of strength and independence. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t end up going or coping with much when you are there. You will get there x*x

[Tiredone]

I got on the plane. My colleague dosed me up on travel sickness pills and I was pretty much comatose for the rest of day. Not ideal but I did it. I am still getting over the conference. It was very overwhelming. Too many people. Too much information. Not enough downtime.

I don’t want to go to the next one. Although I won’t have to get on a plane to get there it’s in a city where my ex raped me so I have to come up with a valid excuse to get of that one. Not ready to start “reclaiming” places like that yet.

[Ayanna]

Omg, I fully understand how you feel.
You have done incredibly well to attend the conference after all.
But the next one…. this can take years or forever to overcome.
Maybe you can say you are sick or book annual leave in that week and say you have to care for a very sick family member or friend somewhere far away … excuses to opt out.

[Author]

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