PTSD Long term affect on kids

[Birdsstillsing01]

Hiya
I haven’t posted on here in a while. But really looking for advice and to see if anyone has had a similar experience post leaving.

My tween child has diagnosed PTSD (from effects of abuse) and receives a lot of support for this. But recently their behaviour has significantly deteriorated. They have over last couple of months been triggered by me and their sibling. It can be anything from simply asking them to shower or switch off tv or if they have an argument with their sibling. They can have dissociated fits, panic attacks and become disruptive, verbally aggressive and also physical aggression. It’s been so bad I have had to have the police involved.
They are now staying with grandparents whilst we get more help as a family.
It’s just such an awful thing to go through, as my child says in their mind they see me sometimes as their dad and then react to me as if I was him.
Their psychiatrist says that they may need this time away from home to heal from the trauma and that we are lucky to have grandparents to help.
But I am distraught at not having my child with me. Yet even when I go to visit them at grandparents house their behaviour towards me and their sibling quickly resurfaces.
It’s so painful that the years of abuse we suffered as a family have left such pain within my children. That we are still left with the wounds of what happened to us. I’m struggling to hold onto hope that this will get better for us as a family and for my child.

Has anyone else experienced this post leaving?

[Hereforhelp]

Hi and yes, both my teens acted out… my son mimicked his dad’s toxic behaviour for some months..my daughter blamed me, self harmed, anger outbursts at me… fast forward (detail removed by Moderator) years and some counselling, therapy and honest conversations…both my 2 are coming out the other end..even apologised to me for their behaviour.. they now see their father for what he is, how his behaviour was unacceptable and abusive..
They do not miss him, they miss having a ‘father’ but nit THEIR father and that did confuse them for a while…

It will get easier, children take longer to accept but in my experience they will get there in their own time.

My daughter stayed with her grandparents for a while and I felt that pain in my heart which you have..you didn’t do this, this situation isn’t your fault..

In the early stages after separation my children and I were in our own cycle of triggering each other (all learnt behaviour from decades being married to an abusive man) and it was so traumatic for all of us… we have now learnt about DA/DV and the ripple effect it has on the victims.

I don’t have advise, I wanted you to know that you are not alone.

I also rang Social services to ask for.their help and for me, they did help.

Big hugs ❤️
HFH

[Birdsstillsing01]

Thanks for taking the time to write this. I really appreciate it. It’s just what I needed to hear, that there is hope 🙏.
I’m just trying to take each day at a time, but you’re right the pain in my heart is very heavy at times.

[Author]

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