PTSD – what helped you?

[Orangedolphin]

I’m new here, I supposed this could go in new here, good day or here, I chose here. (Detail removed by moderator) years after the events I’m living with PTSD, having counselling, it IS helping. BUT, to be honest I’m a bit sick of seeing/reading
– if you need help talk to someone – I AM
– I suffered with PTSD, I got help, I’m fine now – YES BUT HOW?
I know and acknowledge and accept that I am in a process but it’s flipping slow. So, what I’m asking is what helped you? Please and thanks

[KIP.]

Hi, I still live with PTSD and I probably always will to a certain degree but this is what helped me.
I took back control by reporting the abuse and speaking out. It gave me my power back and made me feel less like I was floundering.
I keep stresses in my life to a minimum. I give myself three things a day to do when I feel the stress building up.
I sleep with a light and radio on so that I know where I am when I wake up.
If I have the five o’clock frights I listen to a relaxation tape right away.
I don’t drink
I don’t smoke.
I exercise. I do yoga.
I surround myself with positive people.
I have a mantra when I feel triggered. ‘I am safe, if he touches me he goes to jail'(that’s because I know that jail is his worst nightmare). You could have your own positive mantra. ‘I am strong, nothing can touch me’. Something like that.
I’ve spent the last few years learning all I can about domestic abuse. I needed to understand what exactly happened to me and why. I fully understand what happened. I moved on from him quickly but I’m left dealing with the traum he left me with. I can do that.
I accept that I will have my down days and I no longer punish myself for them. I am my best friend x

[Orangedolphin]

Thank you, you are much further on in your healing process than me and have given me some really helpful and useful tips – MUCH appreciated x

[KIP.]

Google ‘mindfulness’. It really helped me ground myself. and wear an elastic band on your wrist. Ping it when you get intrusive thoughts (brain chatter). Keep pestering your GP for current therapy specifically for domestic abuse. I am being referred by a private psychiatrist for ‘top down bottom up’therapy if we can find one on the NHS. Yes, talking helps but only with someone who knows exactly what you’re going through. I found Women’s Aid invaluable. The helpline on here are good too. Glad I could be of help. It’s not like you can ask your neighbour lol. Sadly we are in a club that no one wants to be in but we might as well help each other. Helping others also helped my PTSD 😄

[Orangedolphin]

Interestingly (or not) I was doing mindfulness before I needed it. I’m a right hippy! Not tried the elastic band thing but I do get irritated in a Princess and the Pea kind of way so I’m not sure it will help – willing to give it a go though. My (private) counsellor is a specialist in DV so that helps and also recently hooked up with a male friend for regular chats who also has PTSD – different reasons, but I think it will help. “Sadly we are in a club that no one wants to be in” – I hear you! Thanks again x

[freedomtochoose]

Gardening helped me.
Time helped me.
Doing housework and cleaning helped me on occasion.
Watching thrillers or action films with high body counts helped me on occasion as it was a distraction.
My daughter used to pinch me when I was getting a flashback so that I would feel as if I am here and not there (if you know what I mean).
Eighties music played very loud (or on a record player helped me) as it reminds me of a time in my life before the abuse happened.
(Detail removed by moderator)
Being strong and standing up for my rights as a person with disabiltiy helped me.
Cracking jokes about my PTSD and the weird things I sometimes do, helps me too.
Not having much to do with people who don’t get domestic abuse, dont’ get PTSD and can’t be bothered to learn about it…that is just such a lack of compassion…

Accepting the idea that PTSD is a gift. Helps me be aware of some things that non ptsd people aren’t aware of…

Reading and understanding the idea of moral injury in society (it is not ptsd but explains what happens to some of us if we experience a moral transgression).

Dancing to eighties hits…

ftc
x

[Orangedolphin]

I’m a big list writer, it’s disheartening when I keep shifting them though. I’m also big on trying new crafting hobbies to distract and quieten me. I’m trying on the being clear with people but it’s not my default and not very British either! Accepting it being a process is hard…and the woefully short NHS treatment made only a tiny dent. Again thank you x

[freedomtochoose]

oh and ruby wax, and every female comedian who cracks jokes about mental health helps me too
x

[freedomtochoose]

one more thing
films helped me my therapist mentioned
‘the railwayman’
it contains the most accurate description of ptsd in the media that I have ever seen
but the book is better, way better.
also
therapist mentioned
‘the hiding place;
both of these things helped me greatly as it helped me understand that I am not strange to think the way I do…
all best
ftc
x

[WalkerInTheRain]

I’d write lists of things I needed to do. Having even the tiniest task written down helped keep me functioning day to day when my brain was too noisy.
I maintained a hobby and set myself little challenges. I have two hobbies that are quiet and solitary and were useful when I just wanted to empty my mind.
After I’d finished active treatment, if I had any nightmares or flashbacks I’d try to use some of the techniques from CBT. It wasn’t always easy and I didn’t always have the time to go into that memory but if I did manage to pick it apart, it would either reduce the intensity or recurrence of that particular incident.
I also try to be clear with people if their behaviour is likely to cause problems or politely excuse myself before it goes full blown although this isn’t always possible.

The biggest part was accepting it was a process and (detail removed by moderator) years of c**p wasn’t going to resolve itself with a standard course of NHS therapy.

[Orangedolphin]

I have just ordered the book The Railwayman – thank you. Also for all your other advice. I am very over ‘friends’ who don’t get it/can’t be bothered to understand. They may want my company when I am back on form, sadly (for them) I won’t want theirs. x

[Orangedolphin]

My replies went to the wrong people/in the wrong place – no idea why/how, I will get the hang of this

[freedomtochoose]

not to worry orangedophin. you are in the right place generally
we are all here ladies together eh
x

[Visionforward]

I’m (Detail removed by Moderator) years out of the relationship and can do well for months at a time when out of nowhere it hits me again
The belief I’m worth nothing
Someone said we are in a group no one wants to belong to, that’s so accurate
I joined here because I’m sick of people
Telling me to “get over it” and “move on”
When they have no experience of the situation and the aftermath.
We all do what we do to try and move on don’t we but those triggers from
Nowhere don’t make life easy for us

[KIP.]

Hi visionforward, someone once said when they were told to move on that they had indeed moved on from the relationship very quickly but what they couldn’t move on from was the trauma he left them with. That’s exactly how I feel when I hear someone say to move on. It’s one of the most hurtful things always said by completely ignorant people. So don’t let that comment bother you. All it does is show exactly how misunderstood abuse is.

[Visionforward]

Very true
Also fed up with people saying they wouldn’t have put up with it. You don’t know until you’re there. It’s not like it starts big every time it’s mostly small subtle grooming so you think it’s your fault not theirs

[Ayanna]

I am not sure whether PTSD can ever go away.
I have had it for years and I just live with it.
I am in therapy and I get to know my changed self better.
Deep trauma causes pathways in the brain to change. I do not think these can be reversed.
I recognise PTSD when I have a reaction to a situation and I explain to people why my reaction was so unexpected and unusual.
Honestly said, I do not care what people think of me or whether they understand.
I live my own truth and who cannot make sense of it is not my concern.
I have to live in a quiet place in order to function.
My brain gets very noisy and I need silence to calm my brain down.
I always write to do lists and tick what I have done. This way I get things done and carry on with life.

[Author]

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