Viewing 5 reply threads
  • Author
    • #46752

      So ladies I’ve done it. I’ve stood strong in front of everyone at my siblings wedding. It’s taken me from the day I left him to get to this stage. No more distractions I can focus on myself but I’m absolutely drained. I cant physically move and feel like vomiting. I feel so hurt that my wedding was such a shambles and my sibling had the most magical time because I was the gineau pig. Im angry with my family for letting me down!!!!!! I can’t stand to look at any of them because I was abused even more because of the way they treated my ex during our relationship. This wedding has bought back terrible emotions!!! Things I thought I had put to the side. Then on top of it im getting pressure to get married again I’m so angry with my family I’ve been in an ABUSIVE relationship I ave been divorced for a very short while and I explained to them I have depression and can’t focus on a relationship can only focus on myself because its too early and they do this. Their version of happiness is being married that’s not mine. Please help. On a positive I’ve called in sick and finally have a doctors appointment today! I’m going to tell them everything and get pn meds I can’t cope with low mood alone I need medication to help me in the short term and I’ve managed to find a private counsellor. Will give her a call in a few days I said I would after the wedding. X

    • #46753

      Hey hun

      Totally ignore your family about getting married again, having a abusive realtionship takes time to recover, my family now and again say so havent u found any one yet and u cant possibly stay single all your life, i actually reply i can and im focusing on me . I would expect u to feel low after the siblings wedding, its bound to off set rriggers of for u, have afew days rest and its good u starting counselling and going to gp, continue to rememer how far u have got compared to when u was with ex

    • #46754

      Hey there. I’m glad you managed to get through the day. That shows the strength you have and how far you have come. A private councillor really saved me. The NHS in my experience were useless. They have the basic skills but not for anything more complicated like PTSD, domestic abuse etc. No wonder you’re exhausted, you’ve been running on adrenaline, in survivor mode. Please concentrate your anger on the one person who caused your abuse. Your ex husband. He would love it if he could drive a wedge between your family and he has done enough damage. I went through a phase when I was asking myself why other people didn’t see what was going on and help me. But I was the one making excuses for his behaviour. Minimising it. So they had no way to know the depths of his abuse or the tools to deal with it. I think a good councillor will help you leaps and bounds. In the meantime just be very kind to yourself.

    • #46793

      Thank you both I still feel exhausted. I’ve started the antidepressants again but I know it’s going to take time for them to start having an affect. I cant stop thinking it’s so hard to stop it because overthinking is my problem. If mg family persist to put pressure on me I will trll them I’m moving out with my friend while I aave for a deposit on a rental. I only wanted to move to buy a property but I’m not taking any c**p off anyone!!!!! I’m taking some time off work being off sick and letting myself recuperate. I cant believe how much this has aksn it out of me. I’ve tried to contain my anger towards my family because you’re right the thing he wanted to do the most was to drive that wedge between us. I’m also going back to the doctors in 2 weeks time. I feel low, drained, I was sick several times last night and my whole body aches being strong has taken its toll on me x

    • #46813
      lover of no contact

      Well done PALA,

      You got through it. Its over now. It will have triggered a lot of emotions. Its good you are feeling the emotions and not acting on them. The emotions and the anger will pass. Its good to feel them. Anger is good, just don’t act on it as its one latter short of Danger! lol

      You are doing all the right things, rest, extra support, self-care are needed after being emotionally triggered.

      Keep posting

    • #46814
      lover of no contact

      btw, I was very triggered by my friends (well-meaning) saying about dating and getting out there to meet another man. I didn’t feel good when they would keep saying it. I would love to meet someone but I’m not prepared to put a lot of energy into making it happen. I’m busy too enjoying the single life, making my own decisions and recovering and focusing on me.

Viewing 5 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide


Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content