Push me pull you

[KIP.]

One of their tactics is to push you off a cliff then run down and rescue you. I read this recently and it stuck with me. How they can try to destroy you and yet still come out the hero. How totally messed up is that. Yet we are drawn in by this tactic.

[Anabela]

That’s so very true!!!!! He has been doin that

[SunshineRainflower]

Yes my ex did this too. He once tricked me into walking round a body of water on my own when it was going dark and fog was descending, telling me it’d only take me a certain amount of time and that he’d meet me at the end after he had done this task he was doing. He said there’d be lots of people and it would be a good walk and I’d enjoy it. Well I started on the walk and realised once I had gone round a certain way that it would take me 3 times the length he said, even if I ran. It was completely deserted, I had no way to escape and I was trapped and terrified. I ran wearing walking clothes and got blisters. When I finally got back he literally appeared through the mist ‘to rescue me’ saying repeatedly how worried he had been. A flippant comment he said a few days later made it seem like he had done it on purpose, which I dismissed as I thought ‘why on earth would he do that.’ It all makes sense now! He was forever being absolutely evil and cruel to me then ‘rescuing’ me and ‘looking after me.’ It’s a great disguise as it tricks us into thinking they really care for us.

[keepmovingfoward]

my ex did this with sleep deprivation, health issues, health professionals. appearing to be the good guy, having an ulterior motive then appearing to be the hero.

being on the other side of this now, i realise the lifestyle he imposed on me actually created alot of my health issues, two of which required invasive procedures (one i have sinus surgery for, the other i was starting to need regular lumbar punctures which are horridly painful). he was trying to get my neurologist to insert a surgical shunt for one of the conditions which im now going into remission for. which would have entailled potentially brain surgery. but she wasn’t having any of his reasoning and stood up to him. I walked from him not long after that.

he messed with my mind appearing to favour me making arrangements with friends then making me drop my plans at the last mins because something more urgent came up that would benefit me (he would conveniently arrange a business meeting at the same time for a new client).

he yo-yo’d my head mentally so much, when i read back at the stuff hes written to me the tone he uses towards me is similar to one you’d use to someone without the mental capacity to independently make their own choices. he did make me dependent on him, though as a person i largely shared decision making when part of a couple(husband and wife) i certainly have the ability to think and decide for myself. he seems to assume everyone has forced me to make decisions for me when i took the decisions onboard myself.

one thing i do know for sure – if he turned up on my doorstep now he wouldn’t recognise me! because this B****h swapped her wings for a Broom!! I’m taking no s**t from no-one!

[KIP.]

I like that last part. We women are like angels, however, if you break our wings, we simply pick up our broomsticks and continue to fly 😈

[lover of no contact]

From a reformed nice girl my new mantra is: I’m nice until you don’t deserve it anymore.

Also you treat me well and the princess in me will respond to you..You treat me badly then the b***h in me will rise.

I love being part-b***h, part nice-girl now. Part of my recovery has been allowing my inner b***h to surface when needed. My old default was nice girl/ nice girl, polite girl no matter how badly you treat me or speak to me the nice girl always greeted you. I still find it hard to be rude but I have learnt to non-verbally take a step back from unacceptable behaviour.

I like Sheryl Argov’s meaning for b***h ‘Babe In Total Control of Herself’ and ‘Boys I’m Taking Control Here’, lol.

[lover of no contact]

My abuser did this to our daughter, cause the problem then be the rescuer. He would goad her, abuse her emotionally and verbally, push her buttons until her mind and emotions were in a complete mess and she was binge eating and in a terrible state. Then he paid for her to see a counsellor and he was the hero of his family and even my daughter appreciated him paying for counselling support as she blamed herself saying it was all her fault. Yet he was behind the scenes orchestrating and manipulating.

Please karma sort them out for us. Its bad enough them getting their kicks out of hurting us but its unbearable to witness them hurting children, old people and animals to get their power surges.

[Author]

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