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Exs abuse is starting to escalate again gradually and the ‘act’ he has had since the non mol order ended has worn off – he is using lots of different ways to contact me and I am starting to feel sick with fear again just as I thought I was home tying my life back together – feel so alone as now I am away from him everyone expects me to get on with my own life now. Feel trapped, still trying to sort out finances, and getting frustrated as I can’t move on it seems with my life without the past revisiting all the time. How do you move on? How do you set boundaries that last? X
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Dear Newlife, The other ladies are probably better equipped to advise that I am. I just wanted to say that when I was with him and the time after we split was the most mentally challenging of my life, but I got through it. I currently have another equally mentally challenging scenario non abuse related and I will get through that too. I want to give you hope, I know right now it seems overwhelming, desperate and hopeless, and we have all felt that way and continue to do so. What helped me was the multitude of books and information that is available on the internet, many books on abuse are free to read on Amazon Kindle. Posting on here is invaluable, share your thoughts and feelings. Don’t worry how you are coming across, how much you are posting or if nobody replies to you. Just writing and getting things out is therapeutic and good for you. This forum mentally unhooked me from the ex with all the advice I received. And take one day even one hour at a time, it does get better. XXXXX ( the challenges that I have faced, i am going to turn them around and make sure I benefit from then, use them as a tool for learning and strengthening myself). X*X
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Hey Hun
Keep reporting him for making contact, eventually a harrassment order can be placed, continue blocking him whatever way he is making contact , keep getting support when ever u need it
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This post has given me some ‘hope’ I have felt for the past few years it is a ‘secret’ so you can’t say anything to anyone, so you keep it all in as you think people wont believe you as he is ‘such a nice man’. I am so so pleased that I have found this site, there is so little help out there, I have searched for weeks and found very little help and support. Does anyone know of any support groups, so us women can actually get together and support each other? I would be interested in your comments xx
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Dear Hoodwinked, my advice is to take some time to go back reading as much as you can from the posts on here. If you think of words that mean something to you, you can do a search and posts linked to that will come up, i.e Trauma Bonding or Cheating, I like the one Intermittent Reinforcement. You will get so much advice, information, names of books, organisations and websites, all of which will really help you. XXXXX
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