Put up with so much, that I can’t do it anymore

[Babyfats15]

I’ve been with my husband for (detail removed by Moderator)years. On the (detail removed by Moderator) I was the victim of domestic violence which took place in my parents house. Unfortunately both my parents who are in their (detail removed by Moderator) and my (detail removed by Moderator) kids witnessed what he had done within the house and to me. He was arrested, but has since been released. Social services were involved and during that time I didn’t have any form of contact. The social worker closed the case (detail removed by Moderator). Since then he has made contact with me. I tried to ignore his calls but he threatened me if I did. Up to this day he is still verbally abusing me over the phone and texts. When we used to live together he has been mentally and physically abusing me for so many years since (detail removed by Moderator). I’ve had to put up with it as I was worried that he would hurt my parents or destroy their house, as we only lived (detail removed by Moderator) away. We have (detail removed by Moderator) kids together all under the age of (detail removed by Moderator). My husband gets angry over a lot of things and has trust issues. My kids have seen him break things (that’s what he does when is angry all the time). I’m currently staying at me parents house with my kids. I can’t block his number or he will come to my parents house and break the windows and door. He’s threatening me and my (detail removed by Moderator) yr old mum as I’m refusing to let him see his kids.

[Allornothing]

Hiya, I am so sorry you are going through this.  My advice would be that you need to contact the police, you need to get an IDVA through Victim Support and perhaps even refer yourself to NCDV.

I know a lot of people aren’t comfortable in calling the police.  But it should be a priority if he is threatening you like he is.  You need to find a way to get control back, once you get some control and once you have people to speak to who really understand you and support you 100%, you will really feel the benefit of that.  My IDVA was amazing and had to speak to an officer in charge to correct her in the advice I was being given.

If you aren’t comfortable with the police, please do the live chat to start with and see if you have a women’s centre close to you. They helped me get into emergency accommodation by telling me what to say to the council etc.

His behaviour is not acceptable, I was advised to leave 1 line of communication open or else it could lead to escalation, but by leaving 1 line of communication open, I was able to gather evidence for the police.

Sending you a massive hug, you are being really strong in getting to your parents and trying to protect them and your children but someone needs to support you.  xx

[Babyfats15]

Hi,  Im working with my IDVA and she’s been great. She’s trying to get on top of trying to get me a house through the council. I have spoken to NCDV they advised me to contact the police as well. I do want to take control back, but I’m just worried what if any, the consequences. If I go into emergency accommodation, I’m afraid if he’s still around he’ll go to my parents house or hurt them. He’ll wait outside the kids school for me. He wants to take me to family court. He’s so sure of himself that he’ll full custody of the kids. Am I in the wrong for not letting him see his kids because his getting more and more aggressive. Iam leaving one line of communication open to gather evidence, but when u have someone wishing for you to die, wishing for my mum to die.

[Bananaboat]

100% police. Block that number. If he comes to your parents house and breaks stuff then let him face the consequences of that. I know you want to protect them but he’s a grown a*s man acting like a toddler – would you give in to your child’s demands. Use that support network and get you and those kids safe. Sounds like he needs a big scare or time inside, I’m so sorry you’re all facing this

[Author]

Posts