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    • #134625
      Gerbil
      Participant

      Hi
      I have written a long letter to my husband to try to explain how and why I am feeling the way I am. I wanted to give it to him in person and after lots of thought I had decided to give it to him (detail removed by moderator). (Detail removed by moderator) we had another disagreement as I stuck up for our daughter and I was accused of being a bad parent and not loving him and always taking her side. It was getting late so I went to bed and I said let’s talk tomorrow. He has now sent me a text to say (detail removed by moderator) and won’t let me know when he is home. I think he is trying to play mind games with me..(as he can tell my attitude towards him has changed..i am feeling so much braver)…what do you think? Is this normal for an abuser to play mind games like this? Also does anyone know of any reading material for older teenagers to help them understand abuse? X

    • #134633
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      You’ve hit the nail on the head, it’s mind games. He wants you to wonder where he is, beg him to come home etc. He’s choosing to stay out knowing it’ll upset you. I don’t know of any books for teenagers but social worker and GP both recommended a website called Kooth. Teens can text counsellors for support via Kooth too. I’m sorry you didn’t get the reaction you’d hoped for from him, but at least you know you tried.

    • #134639
      Gerbil
      Participant

      Thank you Banana boat. I wanted to check I wasn’t going mad!

    • #134661
      StartingOverAgain
      Participant

      Just remember when they accuse you of something, it is generally projection.

      i.e. they accuse you of being a bad parent…you don’t love your child etc.

      When really it is THEY who are the bad parent, and don’t love their child etc.

      It is a smoke screen and a form of brainwashing to get you off balance and make you doubt yourself.

      It is very hard to realise, but it is a classic tactic.

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