Question about reporting to police

[Fallingleaves]

Does anyone know if I can report my concerns about my ex to the police without them contacting him?
I think I read somewhere that they could log threats of violence or abusive behaviour without officially investigating.
Thank you for any info or experience anyone has with this.
I’m starting as zero as possible contact as of today, wish me luck, feel so so anxious already

[Marmalade]

Hi my understanding is that once a matter has been brought to the attention of the police, they choose what to do. They can investigate, and have a duty to investigate crime. They can even charge if the victim does not support a prosecution, or withdraws a statement, if there is other evidence.
The matter immediately goes out of your control. I would say that you can request it just lie on file but there are no guarantees this will happen and you cannot control what the police do.

[Mellow]

They have to investigate everything I thought if you did it by non emergency message it would be private it turned out it wasn’t .they investigated what I said if I had known I wouldn’t have done it at the time but I’m now glad I did because now I realise I was abused and didn’t understand what was happening so I reported it.I no longer blame myself for reporting it what my ex did was not right and I know I was being emotionally abused.

[Watersprite]

If reports come to police attention they have a duty to investigate. Sometimes if it comes from third party eg social services it is third party so not so much they can do but they then might help in safety planning. If you report be prepared it could be taken out of your hands and you can’t say if they speak to him or not. That’s not to put you off – reporting can be a brave and protective thing to do but go in eyes open – DA is hard to prosecute unless really hard evidence and even then many times won’t get to court. The criminal justice system is brutal – support for victims is lacking. All of that said I’m still proud I reported – had no option in the end take care xx

[Twix]

In my experience if you ring the non emergency line you can discuss & log any incident with a trained officer & it will ultimately come down to whether or not you feel safe. They risk assess & this too is considered about the detail of what you’re reporting. Then they can decide how to progress but they do have a duty to investigate if you go on to make a formal statement. Like others have said, it will be taken out of your hands but at that point, you’ve tried everything & there’s still no change or it’s escalating & this may be the only route you take to bring an end to their actions. They’re ultimately accountable for their own behaviour. Guilt & anxiety will be felt strongly but it will ease, remember your heart is taking over when this happens & it’s thinking with your head that leads you to the right decisions, plus it shows that you’re taking the control away from them & not accepting any further abuse.

[Fallingleaves]

Thanks so much for all of your advice and sharing your experiences, it’s so helpful x

[Author]

Posts