- This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 6 months ago by
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Hi There,
My ex is from a country where women are treated largely how women were here thirty years ago.
However, even in that country, there is progress being made.
Also, I have a friend who is from my ex’s. oh try, and she says that not everyone in her country is like that. She says it is probably more the family my ex was brought up in that made him how he is, more than the country.
Either way, whether it is due to the country or the family in which they originated, they have no excuse. They perfectly well know what being kind is and what being unkind is.
Yes, they might even be from a country where making your wife submissive or mistreating her is seen as showing male superiority or prowess. Abuse has happened for centuries. But that doesn’t make it right. And I think it proves all the more that they have a sense of entitlement if they come to another country and try to impose their outdated chauvinism onto you!
We can imagine all kinds of excuses for their abuse, no doubt. But abuse is abuse.
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A difference? A difference to what? There is no excuse for abuse.
Deep in the psyche of an abuser is the belief that they are entitled to behave this way to women and children. Most do not behave this way with other people. So it is intentional deep down.
Culture has nothing to do with it. Across the world are Bills, Conventions, Charter of human rights ratified by (signed up to) every nation.
You will find that all of these contain “freedom from inhumane, degrading and torturous treatment”. So abuse is inhumane, degrading and definitely torture.
If a man subscribes to the fact that he can do what he like to a woman or child, then regardless of culture or country is he not suggesting that he doesn’t view them as human and entitled to human rights?
In addition to this there is UN Women: an organization set up for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women.
Here is their website which shows exactly how women should be treated across the world.
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Hi, you could take a look at how the United Nations addresses this. Just google ‘United Nations and domestic abuse’. The United Nations responds to the abuse of women in all cultures and nationalities as a global issue. And within many cultures where women are seen as subsidiary to men there are women pressure groups (some of which have to tread very carefully) to try to tackle what seems like an intractable human rights issue. Look at child brides, female genital mutilation, the inability of women to have equal access to the law as men. There is misogyny across the globe, it just takes a more obvious and extreme form in different cultures and belief systems. The question is whether you think misogyny is ever acceptable? Your question on belief and intentionality is difficult to answer without more detail. Xx
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I would like to think that I live in a country where men and women are treated equally with respect. (Not strictly true and there is still a lot of work to be done on attitudes on both sides of the sexes but we can but do our bit and hope.)
This however has not saved me from meeting men who are abusive.
And the last abusive man I was with his father was at a lost to his own son’s behaviour.
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