Questions

[Anonymous]

Sorry for all the posts, but I don’t know who else to ask.

After speaking to a friend I have been in touch with the local domestic violence outreach centre local to me and that have suggested we meet up to talk about things.

I’m suffering with anxiety at the thought of it and I’m worried they will want to know where I live (and irrationally get social
Services or the police involved – there’s no violence but there is emotional abuse to me not the kids).

Has anyone met up with this kind of service before? What did they ask you?

Thanks in advance,

TTMO xx

[godschild]

I haver agoraphobia so cannot meet up with anyone but am having telephone support once a week. It is al confidential and they rally support you, the only thing i was told is that if there is any bad abuse to children they would have to refer it to the police, but with emotional to you , I cannot see there would be an issue. Other ladies with children may be able to advise you more as mine are grown up now x*x

[White Rose]

I had help from my local team – it was a great help. As godschild says they have to take concerns seriously for your safety and that of your children but they will explain everything over and over and over again.
They understand what it’s like. They are on your side 100%!
We all feel our kids haven’t been subjected to it – but they all have simply being there. Some seem to cope fine but some don’t – mine didn’t and is still having significant problems with nightmares and fears and anxiety and anger and she was relatively mature in years when it really kicked off.
If help is on offer don’t turn it down, you will really benefit.
There are LOADS of questions you’ll be asked to start with to assess your needs and also your risk but just be honest and tell it how it is – I just stared into space and answered as if I wasn’t really there. Even if you feel it’s “not really bad abuse” it’s all abuse and emotional is just as harmful as being beaten or raped. It will be hard to talk about it so get the tissues ready – my support worker turned up with a box in her Mary Poppins bag.
After my initial assessment session I ended up referred to police DV unit as well – it scared me to death but what great support and reassurance they were to me when I needed them (and have been ever since).
It is scary. Abuse is. But this is for you and also your children. Be brave take a baby step and say yes and you won’t regret it I promise.
x*x

[Author]

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