The future happens, day by day, you find it, sometimes by accident, sometimes by a smile, or an item given or one seen.
It takes time to see, and the – you can’t do it without me! – you CAN, you already are, and each day, that becomes less and less true, because he is not dragging you down.
I know, because I was told the SAME thing!! It is not true, in way, shape or form for you too.
I hope your situation has improved a little for you now, one step at a time, one day at a time, and the journey will continue, sometimes we have to stop, and observe the scenery, and the path we have trodden, to start again, to go where we fancy.