* the Liar

[teatime]

I am upset that a friend of mine who knew about the abuse I had not seen for years remembered him as a ‘quiet gentle young man’. I don’t know what is wrong with people, I feel I cannot see her again… it made me sound ooold too, I was young at the time too! Much younger than HIM!
Then she went on about her own abusive partner.
It also really upsets me that he is still playing the I Am a Gentle (detail removed by Moderator) rubbish… he tried to throttle me, bruised me, hurt me, controlled me and left me poor.As well as being unfaithful and lying.
The worst thing probably was he pretended to be depressed as a form of gaslighting, so I neglected my own health looking after him and became very ill indeed.
HE WAS SUCH A LIAR

[SunshineRainflower]

He sounds very similar to my ex Teatime, apart from my ex was not creative. He seemed like such a sweet, gentle soul, quiet and kind and caring, but it was all a complete act. The real him was an aggressive, violent, sadistic, cruel misogynist. Just like yours he also put his hands around my neck, hurt and bruised me, controlled me, never paid for anything and was a massive liar and a cheat all whilst pretending to be saint-like.

It does frustrate me at times thinking about the people he has fooled, but he didn’t have many friends so I think in the end most people wise up to these types of people’s behaviour if they have any sort of interaction with them. Most people get burnt by them if they get too close, they burn a lot of bridges. Just think ‘good luck’ to your friend and anyone else who is fooled by your ex because they are in for a nasty shock if they get too close.

I too have found friends and family don’t seem to understand what I went through, I am finding it better to talk to people who have experienced it instead as it is tough constantly feeling misunderstood and even judged/doubted by people who don’t get it.

[teatime]

Thank you, that made me feel loads better. It is highly irksome isn’t it? When you know they are really very very evil. Mine joined what I would call a ‘holier than thou’ organisation and went on retreats on our joint money.
They must know they are horrible but think it is all everyone else’s fault. He would go on and on about childhood, but nothing happened- he just was jealous of his little sister and the attention she had to get.
Whereas as a kid, I was assaulted and badly beaten etc. Never talked about that!
Thank you again x

[Balletdancer]

I’m sure my ex manages to convince many acquaintance type friends but he has a history of fall outs with people who really get to know him. The problem is that the parents from my daughter’s school only know him on a very superficial level so it causes problems for me trying to establish friendships. He sabotaged friendships when we were together. I’m sure some of the dads get the sob story. I imagine he can be quite convincing to them. He’s the king of turning on the fake tears. That was the staple of the emotional blackmail when we were together. I, of course, was never permitted to cry. That would have consequences. I don’t even bother trying to tell people what he’s like as I know it will make me sound pathetic but it’s hard to cope with isn’t it?

[maddog]

My husband too had perfect parents and an ideal childhood. In the beginning I believed him. There is a massive space between who he thinks he is and the reality. He has very few friends and his adult children largely avoid him. It is a wretched thing to go through. Yes, the lies, the deception, the blaming…

[teatime]

I have to just say that I sounded like my parents beat me, not at all. It was a violent assault at a gig. My parents were heartbroken of course.

[Author]

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