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    • #10031
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Have any of you been to rape counselling? I am being accessed next week, my worry is that wont let me have it as I’m still with my abuser till the house sales. I was going to be accessed for PTSD and they said it was to dangerous as I way still with him. (I don’t have anything to so with him)

      I just want to get him out of my head and move on.

      FS xx

    • #10085
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Fallingskys,

      Try not to worry whether they will let you have it or not. The best way is just to put yourself forward and see what they say. If they say you can’ have it yet because you still live in the same property as your abuser then you can always try again in the future.

      Well done for being so active with this. You are making such amazing, brave steps. Keep up the good work!

      Best wishes

      Lisa

    • #10087
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Thank you Lisa.

      It took me many years to admit to myself what was going on, now I wanted it sorted yesterday lol typical me!!!

      FS xx

    • #10171
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I contemplate to call the charity for help. I had a conversation with them and they said I was let down badly and there could be a way of still taking him to court for the rapes. But I cannot go to court anymore. So I am a bit scared to ask them for counselling, because they might bring up the court again. On the other hand I know that I need to do something about the trauma. Difficult …

    • #10186
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      So true Ayanna

      I am going to give a statement when I am in a safe place. The police were lovely when I let it out by mistake. Lol my abusers doing if a man asks me something I have to tell the truth, he condition me very well. Even if it goes no further I will be drawing a line under it.

      FS xx

    • #10244
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I gave a statement and it led to nothing. The police did not give me all the information. Rape crisis told me a few things I had never heard of and they said the police should have spoken to me about those things. He was let off, …
      I have shut down since then. The flashbacks are horrible though…

    • #10250
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      That’s awful Ayanna, when I saw the police they had someone there from the domestic abuse team, I was given personal alarms, door jam, and info pack with contact for women refuse, the local rape support charity, free lock changing, free national number for law advice. I also have a police officer that contacts me regularly. They have said they will come round my new house when I get out to make sure its secure. Sounds like I am very lucky where I live to get all this. But this should be the norm but the exception. Hugs xx

    • #10296
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I am glad you have this support, Falling Skys. When I got almost killed the police was very supportive, but not regarding the rapes. I have to get over the rapes somehow and pretend to have lived a protected middle class life so that I do not suffer further discrimination.

    • #10310
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Ayanna

      I could swear, I have tried to forgot what I have been through. And for a long time it seemed to work, but now years later I getting flash backs and there’s no rhyme or reason to it. It’s like my mind is telling to get it in order.

      I went for my assessment and in the next couple of weeks they will have a meeting to discuss if it will help me. But they seem positive they can help.

      FS xx

    • #10312
      Confused123
      Participant

      hey hun

      just wanted to say hope it all goes well for u, sending u hug of support

    • #10315
      Peaceful Pig
      Participant

      Hi FS and Ayanna
      I just wanted to let you know that I’m having specialised counselling for the sexual abuse both in my marriage and childhood. I would agree that the trauma stays with you and doesn’t go away by itself. My counsellor has been incredibly nurturing and makes it explicitly clear that I am in control of the process and that she can contain anything I need to say. The rape crisis charity she works for have been consistently supportive, reliable and safe. They are the one agency who have never let me down through all this. Ayanna, I decided to do an anonymous report only in the end and they have never judged me and still given me all the support I need. Like you FS my disclosure to the police was accidental and as result of my conditioning! I really hope you both find the support you need and deserve x*x

      • #10344
        Falling Skys
        Participant

        Thank you Confused123 for your support xx

        PP your insight is invaluable xx I’m only realising as time goes on how controlled I was, I thought I was quite independent how wrong I was..

        FS xx

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