• This topic has 14 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 6 days ago by Lisa.
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    • #119716
      Cantmakedecisons
      Participant

      I’ve been having counselling for a little while now, during this time there’s been a few incidents I’ve had to deal with. I’ve always been honest with my counsellor (otherwise what’s really the point in me being there). This week I was in a bit of a mess and my counsellor talked about her contacting the police, can she do that? I’ve been down that road before and refused to assist a prosecution. I suppose I’m now concerned that everything I’ve said will be used against me.

    • #119718
      KIP.
      Participant

      Nothing you have said will be used against you because no professional is against you. They are there to help protect you. At the start of your therapy you should have been told that if she feels you are in immediate danger then she has an obligation to help you. And by helping you she may have to report this crime being committed against you because vulnerable people cannot do this for themselves sometimes. The best thing that ever happened to me was intervention by professionals because I was simply too traumatised myself. Your therapist would be held accountable if she did nothing as you were further hurt. Perhaps you need to look at why you didn’t support a prosecution and why you’re still being harmed. I’d ask her directly what her intentions are. But yes she can report to the police as can doctors and any other professionals who fear for your safety x

    • #119721
      GreenSapphire
      Participant

      It is exactly as KIP says, I had to sign a form before my counselling began. It said if the counsellor suspected I was a danger to myself or others or I was in danger, the counsellor had a professional duty of care to act on my behalf. They are there to assist and help you.

    • #119723
      Cantmakedecisons
      Participant

      I can feel my heart pumping so fast worrying about this.. surely if she reports and refuse to give statement then what else can they do. I cannot deal with the police again, that was traumatising enough on its own.

    • #119726
      KIP.
      Participant

      Please take some deep breaths. Can you ring your therapist for some clarification. You might be worrying over nothing. She may decide it’s not in your best interests to report however a rapist will rape. You’re probably not the first and won’t be the last that this man will rape so perhaps she has a duty not just to you but to other women too. There’s been a crime committed here, a very very serious crime. You can still refuse to talk to the police or anyone else who intervenes. You have that right. I’d definitely ask her what her intentions are x you don’t need to cooperate for the police to investigate. They may want to talk to previous or current partners of his and question them about his behaviour if they haven’t already x

      • #119730
        Cantmakedecisons
        Participant

        I’ve been his only partner for (detail removed by moderator)..

        I’m freaking out, if he knows I’ve spoken to someone then.. I can’t cope with this!

    • #119732
      KIP.
      Participant

      You don’t know that you’ve been his only partner. Abusers are liars and cheaters. Please phone your therapist and get her to clarify what’s happening. Try not to over react. Take some deep breaths. Nothing has happened yet. Only deal with what’s in front of you in facts. Sometimes we catastrophise and thoughts spiral.

    • #119744
      KIP.
      Participant

      Please don’t apologise. You need to take your time and stay safe x 💕 you’ve been through a terrible trauma and are extremely vulnerable x

    • #119792
      Watersprite
      Participant

      Just sending you support – they are doing it because they are worried for your safety and others. It may be the best thing to happen in the long run. And Police seem to find it difficult to take positive action on sexual crime without ‘evidence’ so breathe. The most important thing here is your safety and well-being x

    • #119817
      Cantmakedecisons
      Participant

      I feel the need to apologise to the group for freaking out..my heads all over the place and I think shock and panic took over. I don’t mean to sound so negative all the time.

      • #119836
        Lisa
        Main Moderator

        Hi Cantmakedecisions,

        There is no need to apologise, the forum is here to support you every step of the way.

        Take care,

        Lisa

    • #119819
      maddog
      Participant

      Don’t worry about it. You’re completely normal! It’s really good that you’re getting help from RC. The panic and shock is better out than in, and once it’s out, you will be able to start processing it. You’re not alone.

      I can’t count the number of rants and panics and outright terror I’ve vented on my outreach worker, and on here as well.

      Your fear is well founded and it’s caused by a very real threat. Keep posting. You’re on a path, and you have people to support and guide you no matter how afraid you are. xx

    • #119820
      KIP.
      Participant

      Please don’t apologise. It’s the trauma that causes triggers and panic. Try to learn from this experience. My trauma made me catastrophise about absolutely everything. My car going in for an MOT I convinced myself it would fail and I’d have a huge Bill I couldn’t pay. Never happened. I Would get myself into a real state over things that never even happened. Our amygdala, the part of the brain that deals with threat is sounding alarms when it shouldn’t because of trauma. It’s not you, it’s the result of abuse x

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