Rape?

[kitty]

Ok, so as you may be aware I’m reporting him for rape. I would value opinions please on what happened to me. I shall list some of the things he did.

*Held me down by my arms even though I struggled and told him to stop it
*Said he was stronger than me so I should just give in
*Tried to have sex when I was asleep
*Pestered me for hours, I kept saying no but he would not let me sleep so I just let him do it
*Shouted at me for saying no, made me feel guilty for saying no
*If I got free of his grip he pulled me back by my legs and pinned me down again – he made out like it was all a joke but he could see I was not happy at all and wanted him to stop
*Expected sex if I had told a rude joke earlier in the day, then shouted at me for leading him on if I said no.
*Once I pretended to be asleep to avoid him but he just did it anyway

Since we split up he has been convicted of quite a few sex offences and has been deemed high risk with a high level of sexual deviance. Would this work in my favour in court or would it not be taken into account?

[KIP.]

What a monster. I would tell them everything. I think you’re minimising the severity of his abuse. I was reading somewhere that the police were going to ask the rapist how he knew the victim had consented? I think he would fail on all of your list. What’s frightening is the similarities in my relationship. Did you get called a frigid b… Or frigid c….?
I used to get a certain gift, then he would expect sex after I got that gift and if I said no, he would go bugsy. Then sometimes after he’d abused me sexually or otherwise, I would get that gift! Arms held above the head so as not to leave bruising I think.
The same law applies if it’s your first meeting with a guy. If he held you down etc there would be absolutely no doubt. Just because it’s your partner, doesn’t matter. In face I think it’s worse in some ways. A real betrayal of trust x

[Muna]

Sorry to hear you’ve been through this. Again, similarities in my relationship. I think the other convictions will go in your favour as shows he has no respect for sexual boundaries or respect of women. It’s such a betrayal of trust when its intimate rape and I’m sorry to hear u couldn’t get peace or feel in control of your safety at night. My oh too would sometimes give ‘clues’ but not always predictable which for me the threat was worst

[Candlefan]

I was drugged and raped years ago by my ex and its controlling my thoughts every day. Can anyone help me, im struggling

[KIP.]

Hi Candlefan, have you had counselling? Speak to your GP about a referral. Rape crisis have a fantastic helpline where you can talk about what happened. Or pop in and see one of the lovely ladies there. It was never your fault and what happened sounds horrific and no wonder you are struggling to process it. Counselling can help process the trauma you’re left with. I used to have the brain chatter and intrusive thoughts but with therapy almost all has gone. I also reported the rape to the police which made me feel more empowered. How dare he. Sending you a 🤗 hug. There is light at the end of this tunnel x

[Author]

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