Raped after my abusive relationship

[brokenheartedgirl1234]

Hi,
I haven’t logged on in a while. I try to runaway from my feelings but sometimes life gets to me too much.

I wrote on here about a year ago saying how my community will reject me as I’m divorced. I started dating again, and every Muslim man has judged me and stopped speaking to me after they found out I’ve been married before. This caused me to feel so hurt I dated a non Muslim man who raped me.
He just put it inside I didn’t understand he said he will be good to me and my community was bad to me and I could trust him. I reported him to the police and now I have to give a statement. I’m tired of all this. I’m really tired of being judged. I told the hospital I need mental health support and they said my case is complex they did not help me it’s been months.

I logged on to a Social media platform and found my ex abusive partner has been promoted even tho he went to prison? It seems he covered it up! So his life is amazing and as I predicted my life is awful, I feel so down. I just can’t take this anymore

I don’t belong anywhere it’s really hard to even breathe I just wish I didn’t exist ~ it’s tiring I know someone’s gonna say call the crisis team I’m sick of that advice I don’t wanna go to the crisis team I just wanna know if anyone cares about me. Is it silly I wanna be loved after all this. Why does my ex husband walk free and In am even better situation. Im poor I have no money

And no one will ever love me.
He liked miscarriage pages on the social media website but he killed my baby he attacked me and my baby died inside me.
Life is really unfair. Everyone looks down on me my own community won’t accept me and I experience racism from other people I just don’t belong anywhere. When will I be happy
There’s no help available I have no money for counselling

[Lisa]

Hi brokenheartedgirl1234,

I’m so sorry that you’ve been through such difficult experiences. It’s not silly to want to be loved, it’s completely understandable and normal. I can hear how much you’re hurting. It sounds like it’s especially difficult at the moment experiencing the unsupportive treatment from your community, this must feel very isolating. You might want to look into contacting the Muslim Women’s Network, they’re a national service who provide support including access to counselling. You could also contact Rape Crisis for some specialist support, they are there for anyone who has experienced any kind of sexual violence at any point in their life. They should be able to help you to access local counselling if you feel that would be helpful for you.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Mellow]

This dosent sound good you definitely need support and we are here for you.as for your community screw them that may seem hard for you right now but you don’t need to tell everyone you were married what business is it if there’s.i was married into another culture and im looked down on for being a single mum and for leaving my so called husband (we didn’t marry btw) everyone just thought we were.otherwise as you say it would be looked down on.and I really don’t care I’m happy I’m single looking after my kids.i don’t need to be abused anymore or in a marriage which will kill me and I end up in a box.you don’t have to tell anyone anything especially when you first meet if they thought you weren’t worthy after saying that what good men are they ?i have people look down on me as I have multiple fathers for my kids but I do not care!every relationship I’ve left from abuse it’s just unfortunate that I’ve had to put up with it with everyone I meet all my exs had mental health issues and they can’t even raise kids and I was very much part of pregnancy abuse by all of them but one.but when I think of what I’ve done I’m proud he did not do it I did I work I look after my kids I drive I cook I clean.I’m a good woman and so are you !and we care about you !don’t look on social media that’s gone that’s past.things will get better for you but you must believe that it will and have a positive mind set the mind is very powerful

[Author]

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