Hi AirNamaste,
It must be really difficult trying to heal and forgive in a situation where traumatic memories are being triggered. If your husband accepts that his behaviour has been abusive, part of this should be understanding that it’s going to take you time (as much time as you need) to process and forgive what he did. If the argument was about what happened on the day you remembered or how it made you feel, that isn’t okay. It’s normal for your mood to be impacted when your painful past is brought to mind.
Have you had any support to help you work through and make sense of what you’ve been through? Your local domestic abuse service may provide formal counselling, if not then they may know of other services locally and counsellors who specialise in support around domestic abuse. You could also speak with your GP about what talking therapies you can access. Bloom provides online courses around healing from trauma, including domestic abuse.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa