13th February 2020 at 8:22 pm #97644Anonymous
So as you are aware I have been battling with extreme suicidal thoughts for months but the past week these thoughts have been at their worst and have felt like at any moment I am going to break. I have taken the step to arrange a visit with my health visitor in the hope I can tell her the truth but fear how much I can really say as I’m a mum with a baby but hopefully she can give me more support on the parenting side of things and dealing with these feelings and thoughts as a mum. Iv also contacted IDAS about arranging a visit and im going to be strong and say I don’t feel like it’s helping and I need more intensive support which is tailored to my own personal needs rather than feeling like my experience is generalised to other women, I’m also going to tell her I am extremely suicidal. I’m trying everything I can to get support and Iv been beating myself up for feeling like this and being so “negative” but I’m now starting to accept that these feelings are beyond my control and need to give myself some credit as Iv been/still going through hell. Thank you for all your support on here and all the messages I have received. I do feel at crisis point now and I know something needs to change before my mental health totally gives in and gets the better of me! X
13th February 2020 at 10:15 pm #97670IndecisiveGirlParticipant
Wow you are so strong and brave for admitting that to yourself first of all❤️
You’re making all the right steps to getting yourself back on track.
I have a baby too, still under 1. It’s hard having a baby as it is, and even harder when we’re faced with abuse/getting out of an abusive relationship/the aftermath of leaving.
You’re doing amazing, for yourself and for your baby. I know how hard it is and I have also suffered with depression, and the only thing that’s kept me going is the thought of this beautiful little boy needing me, and we just can’t act on any bad thoughts because in my personal case (my ex is on birth certificate) so that would mean leaving my little boy behind in the arms of his abusive father who can’t be trusted with him, and that is a crippling thought.
Seek all the help you can, keep talking and sharing, we’re all here for you
13th February 2020 at 10:26 pm #97673OvercomeParticipant
I just wanted to let you know that you are so brave for reaching out! I had a friend who went through a similar thing when she had a small baby and she was terrified that the baby would be taken away. She ended up making an attempt on her life, and was sectioned for a short time. She got the help she needed and was supported the whole way through by SS. The children weren’t taken away from her just stayed with a relative and she was slowly introduced back into their lives until everything settled back into place. What I am trying to say is that she didn’t reach out and things became extreme… and even then her worst fear wasn’t realised.
You are so strong for trying to get the help you need, and please do speak to someone, when you are ready x
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.