Ready to move on?

[Sunshineee]

It’s been x amount of months since we split & he went to prison and my goodness it has been hell on earth for me mentally and emotionally. But recently Iv been thinking maybe I’m ready to move on? And maybe that is the glue to fix everything back together…Or am i just looking for a distraction and a solution to feel better, to fill the hole…confused? I still love him just as much as when we were together even though I wish I didn’t. I’m always one for saying never get into a new relationship when you’re still in love with your ex but I think this love for him will never go away…or will it? We have a young baby so there will always be a tie there (he will have nothing to do with her I will make sure). Am I ready to move on? Or is this just another phase of the healing process?

[KIP.]

I thought I loved my ex but now I know it was trauma bonding and it was much stronger than love. I’ve loved before and love never hurt me the way my ex did. In reality if your head is straight you couldn’t love someone who walked off the street and assaulted you so there’s grooming and programming and torture to bond us to them. It was only with knowledge I managed to free myself. As for moving on, every day with zero contact you’re moving on, it might not feel like it but you are. Don’t rush into anything new while you feel vulnerable. Work on relationships your trust and have already forged. Bond with your child and enjoy your own company. Be your own best friend and partner. There will be huge void to fill because abusers make everything about them so now you’re left with this hole he would have filled. It’s a blank sheet of paper for you to fill with bright colours and wonderful memories.

[Sunshineee]

Thank you very much for the advice xx

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