Really bad day- mentally

[Teresa]

Hi there,

I am pretty new here, it’s my first post on the forum.
I am having really bad day today. Crying crazy, can’t do anything, only eating and drinking coffee, which I know will cause huge migraine. He is coming home soon and I have not done anything yet, I know he’ll be super angry because I have done nothing, and he was working all day. He’ll call me lazy and useless again, but I can’t make myself doing anything. And he’ll call me fat cow when he’ll find the (detail removed by moderator).
I’m not fat and lazy I just can’t do anything and I don’t know why.
I talked to my mom earlier today, now I regret that I told her all, she’s worried that I might be actually depressed.
Maybe I am. I don’t know. I don’t know anything. Can’t take anymore

[gettingtired]

Hello, I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such a terrible day.
If you are depressed it’s likely it’s because of the abuse you’re suffering from him.
How dare he call you fat and lazy.
Have you reached out to Womens aid or the National abuse helpline? Does your Mom know about the abuse? xx

[Hawthorn]

So sorry you’re going through this. You dont deserve it. Lazy and useless was a favourite of my ex-husband’s too. No matter what I had done or not done. I burned myself out trying to prove how not lazy and useful I was. I wound up off work with stress, barely able to lift my head from the pillow, hair coming out in clumps, not eating. And at my lowest ebb, when I had the cheek to tell him I was entitled to my own opinion, he assaulted me. And I left.

It was the best thing I’ve ever done. Ever. Bar nothing. And in an awful way his violence was the best thing he ever did for me. Prior to that I had no idea idea I was in an abusive relationship, but the scales fell away from my eyes and I saw what he was. The abuse was a feature of our whole relationship but when its emotional abuse it’s so hard to pin it down and realise what’s happening.

I’m not depressed any more. I look and feel 10 years younger. I didnt need medication, some do and that’s the right choice if it’s the right choice for you, but I needed out of my abusive relationship and counselling for what I had endured. Please do reach out to womens aid, it will be the best call you ever make. You are not alone xx

[Teresa]

Thank you for your replies.
Somehow writing and you support made me feel a bit better.

[Watersprite]

Welcome Teresa so sorry you feeling so low. Keep reaching out this is the first step read others posts suggested books. Can you speak to your GP? Samaritans are 24/7 if you need . Abuse is not your fault. Please be kind to yourself do something nice for you maybe light a candle take 5 mins to yourself and breathe. Reach out for support – maybe women’s aid. Take care x

[Author]

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