Really have no idea what to do or where to turn….

[Hope2021]

So after years of up downs, abusive behaviour, good days/weeks/months, all if the c**p that goes along with it, I ended up trying my x…my now x partner but partner at the time unlocked my phone (removed by moderator) and found a series of explicit messages to this other guy…yes I know regardless of our situation emotionally texting somebody else is wrong! I held my hands up to that immediately, I was kind of hoping now he knew we could try and air things out, stupidly, and maybe voice my feelings of why I felt the need or desire rather to text the other guy…but no…he’s just straight up abused me ever since, (removed by moderator)…and I mean following me around from room to room calling me a w***e, a s**g, a prostitute dirty, disgusting, all the worst you can think of, all in front of my children aswel, who he has also been saying things to about me and what I have done and why I have done it now I’ve ruined our family etc…he’s recruited his family on board that hw keeps subtly threatening me with, saying he will put the messages on Facebook, because he’s took pictures on his phone, he’s spat in my face (removed by moderator), and spat in my direction numerous, hit me on my shoulder, telling me to go and kill myself and die…I know I did him wrong in texting someone and he’s the right to be upset about that, but how he’s treating me is just straight up abuse right? It’s not just me wishing so, he’s actually physically and emotionally abusing me. We both have names on the house and refuge say I would have to go (removed by moderator) miles our and that’s not possible for me at all. I really can’t cope anymore how am I supposed to be a good mum while this is going on

[Grey Rock]

Sorry you find yourself in this situation. Was he abusive before this, or are you hoping for a reconciliation if he calms down?

(removed by moderator) miles isn’t really very far. Perhaps it might be worth reconsidering the Refuge offer? Any closer and it might be too close for comfort anyway if he’s likely to look for you.

[Lisa]

Hi Hope2021,

The intensifying abusive behaviour you’re experiencing is totally unacceptable. Understandably you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious about what possible help is out there and what to do next and as Grey Rock suggested, having another conversation about going into a refuge may be an option.
If refuge is just not appropriate or suitable, your local domestic abuse service should be able to make you aware of any other options to improve the situation for you and your children.
Perhaps you can report these incidences with the police as his abuse does impact on the well being and safety of both you and your children. Ask your local domestic abuse service to help you approach the police if this helps. You may want to look into getting an injunction, perhaps an Occupation Order, which removes the perpetrator from the household while at least you can sort out what happens with the property/moving on. DV assist specialise in injunctions and can explain how to obtain one.
I hope you get the help you need to end living in such a hostile environment with your children. Do keep posting to let us know how you are.
Take care,

Lisa

[Author]

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