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I started seeing a guy and as always I look for red flags. On 1 occasion he has grabbed around my neck. This isnt just only in the bedroom but also whilst out. He was drunk and I thought maybe he wasn’t aware what he was doing. I have since told him thats not acceptable and he hasnt done it since. He dances with other girls to prove he can get others. He then humiliated them by telling them he wasn’t interested. He has told me he likes to annoy exes by not replying. He also stated that he would (detail removed by Moderator). (Whilst in a relationship with his ex). He has done the same to me. Ignored me and when I called him out, he stormed off in a mood with me. He’s also adamant that at some point I will allow him to do something sexual to me which I have made very clear I will never allow that to happen.
After several abusive exes, I thought surely I deserve a nice one at some point. I know these are red flags but it still hurts to let go. Its only early and I hadn’t intended him meeting my children but when he spent the night, he had to stick around all day due to circumstances he had made. So I had no choice but for him to be introduced. Yet, he didn’t want me knowing (detail removed by Moderator) and I don’t even know his address properly. Could I still do clares law without this information? I could provide street name and I am aware of his surname.
Despite all of this I have taken the decision to block him. I know it is the right thing to do.
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Distraught,
Stay strong, stay blocked, as Watersprite says – you definitely dodged a bullet there.
The right one for you, is waiting for you to be healed, and will appear when you least expect it.
Congratulations on not staying with him, thinking/hoping he will improve, if he is this abusive so quickly, and in public, I dread to think how much worse he could be.
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Hi distraught it’s so hurtful when we see this but well done for seeing this and acting upon it swiftly. When I met my ex my intuition were crying out to me I just knew something wernt right with him but…..I ignored it which cost me a few years never again will I ignore it again. He failed to tell me he had a previous court order in his last relationship. Admittedly I were in a vunerable position having had a previous dv relationship and nursing my very ill son at the time. It wernt until I contacted his ex who told me she had a court order on him etc and he were horrendous I believed her because I had seen the same an evil nasty manipulating man with a gambling addiction too also created false social media accounts hooked up to a dating site. But I’m so glad that man is no longer in my life I outed him changed my email blocked him. You have absolutely done the right thing
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Thank you for your responses. It has helped knowing others think the same.
I have felt worse than this after leaving other abusive exes. I know the feeling will pass. So im just having a few down days. I just wanna sleep and bury my head under the cover. I am mourning the loss of who I wanted him to be rather than who he was.
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