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Hey ladies
Just having a moan or talking it out should I say . So finally met a guy I liked on line and felt attracted to .so annoyed when I saw the red flags , but glad I could see , or this is what I want u ladies to help me clarify .So first one which I tried to ignore , he said he can’t wait to get inmitate with me and hurt me in a good way ….. was quite taken Bk by that and didn’t know how to take , second one was he mentioned I’m always out and then third one which was what made me think goodbye , says hasn’t got time for a Relatinship doesn’t want to lie , only has time to meet up if I sleep with him . Was so F off as really liked him , can’t believe how quickly I got hooked to him. Thought am just going to be me and he will either like or not , was just after sex though. Left feeling deflated …have other guys after me who want tyo spoil me with treats and meet up but I just don’t feel attracted to them . At one point I thought just sleep with him for experience but then know I would feel cheap after . advise away ladies -
Dear Confused123
There are so many disingenuous ones out there that literally looking for a female body. They only care about access to sex,not a thought for who you are. Shocking thing to say about hurting you, so wrong, thinking you’d like that!!
I am so sorry to hear your experience, but its good you posted it as a reality check for all, just how close these interactions can be, and that meeting someone so dangerous is so easy 🙁
You’ve done well to separate yourself from that before going any further. Noticed the red flags and kept yourself safe.
Warmest wishes ts
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thxs for reply, yes my gut is telling me to stay away from this man even though im really attracted to him , its quite eye opener how my body can sense this man is capable of hurting me, I was telling my best friend that even though im attracted to him I have a weird this feeling that is stopping me to get close and i only felt this b4 with my ex who for those of u know about my past relationship with ex was very dangerous and abusive for me, My friend waws saying i’m overthinking things and finding excuses not to sleep with him . But i just keep remebering that when i left ex the first thing i learnt was to trust my gut and not ignore. suppose by chatting with u ladies im just validating that i must stay away from him and break all communication, cause its sad but i just want him to message me and chat with me but then im thinking why do i feel the need for him so much. i told him (detail removed by moderator) i was breaking communication as we want different things and (detail removed by moderator) . feel so stupid that i thought he was into me
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Dear Confused,
I’m with Maya Angelou on this one. As she advises, ‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.’
He’s been very blunt and clear: he intends to use, hurt and control you, if you let him. Triple whammy. He may be testing to judge your precise levels of desperation and self-esteem. He’s trying to rule out confident women looking for an equal, respectful relationship. I think you know you need to rule him out of your life, don’t you?
What a prize!
Flower x
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Gosh [shudder] Maya’s quote Flowerchild.
Goes right through me.
Please someone share how to switch off that awful sexual attraction that can work independently of us, and betray us
Is this normal!!! OMG round in circles again!
So impressed at your analysis and then putting a stop to it Confused; far from stupid!
He’s the stupid one now right?
X
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Hey Hun
Thxs for reply , definitely wake up call for me that he was testing me , b****y hell I didn’t even think of it from
That perspective. Just reading your posts gives me shivers of how I didn’t see it from that point , think needed to hear that , will definitely keep me away . Hope u keeping well well lovely xx your replies always were sharp and to the point from beginning -
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hello there,
this is such an important thing to be ‘talking about’. Don’t mean to be flippant but in my last run of trying internet dating (two separate dates)…went for a meal with someone. I never usually let someone pay for me but since it was only six quid I decided on the policy you pay this time I’ll pay next time.They were so p****d off that I didn’t go home with them. I laughed about it afterwards and thought ‘you must be joking mate, six quid’ there wasn’t even dessert…not funny really I know.
Someone else sent me a picture of their tackle if you know what I mean. I couldn’t believe it at the time but apparently learned from other women there are a lot out there who will do that…that turned out to be quite funny really as it was a rubbish picture and I became convinced in the moment that someone I didn’t know had got hold of my phone number…told them that unwittingly and they were so embarrassed. Could have been very hurtful and triggering though, although thank goodness I was strong enough it just went over my head…
On a positive note, I feel the Maya Angelou quote could go both ways…someone shows you who they are…
all best ftc
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this is what i love about this site,we can talk openly about our dating experience, how we feel and how they make us .it is a eye opener when u see how these men behave, ive met some really charming men who are just friends and have really touched my heart how much of a gentleman they are , and the shocking ones. so glad u ladies are giving me the strength not to reply to him, yes he texted this morning just to wish me a good day ,but im not going to reply. maybe his not as bad as i think,but im not gonna risk it, keeping well away, there is a reasson why my body is reacting the way it is , and imm just gonna listen to my gut and u ladies x*x
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Hey Confused 123
I think you sell yourself short. It was you analysing his behaviour and naming them as rws flags, then coming here to check that out, then shut him out!
That whole have a good day thing is him fishing. If you’ve been its over well that’s a bit odd too especially now knowing what’s he’s all about.
Warmest wishes ts -
Well done confused 123.
After the s**t we go through, there are still pigs out there that think this is an acceptable way to talk to women. He’s defo watched too much porn and been taught this is what women like.
You my love are a sexy,strong woman and you do not need his baggage.
I think this forum is amazing because when we listen to our own gut instinct we can post on here and we are well and truly reminded that we were spot on -
agree with u hun, its a lovely way of just confirming things we can’t see as clearly, so hasn’t messaged me again but p****d me off by sending friend request to my friend, hopefully only sent to one but u know when u just that a feeling know that’s not the case , im glad my friend told me and ask who he was, i just immediately blocked him from social media so he cant see any of my friends
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