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    • #47841


      Ive read the topics on refuge and was hoping if someone could go into a little more detail about

      – how long you can stay in one?
      – do you get privacy – like your own room or you have to share?
      – are you free to come and go as you please?
      – is there a locker available?
      – can you choose an area you want to move to?

      My children are all grown up and in there 30’s so it would just be myself.

    • #47862
      Main Moderator

      Hello Ashes,

      Most refuges are shared accommodation, this would mean sharing a kitchen and other facilities but you would have your own room where you sleep.

      All refuges are individually run so will have their own house rules. There are refuges all across the country, you will usually need to be a safe distance away from the perpetrator.

      I would advise that you call the helpline on 0808 2000 247, the helpline can help you look for refuge space.

      I hope you are finding the forum a supportive place to be.

      Best Wishes,


    • #47966

      Hi Lisa

      Thanks for your reply. I called the helpline but they said I don’t qualify for a refuge. I’m not sure she really understood my circumstances but said refuges are only for women who are fleeing their abuser and don’t want to be found. She was quick to get me off the phone and I didn’t feel supported. I was directed to call council housing. How about women who are being emotionally, physiologically and financially abused? For the last year I’ve more or less locked myself in my room on nights he is drinking so as to avoid the yelling, shouting, pushing and pinning to walls that he used to do. What does one have to do to get into a refuge?

    • #47991
      Main Moderator

      Hello Ashes

      Sorry to hear that you felt unsupported by the helpline. It would be worth trying to call again in case there was some confusion about your situation. Alternatively you could contact your local domestic abuse service by clicking on the ‘Find help locally’ tab at the very bottom of the homepage. Staff there should also be able to explain in more detail about the refuge process.

      Best Wishes


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