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Dear all
I have a question and hope some of you can help me.Been out the (detail removed by moderator) relationship fir just over (detail removed by moderator). Still lots of ongoing abuse through child court, divorce court etc. (detail removed by moderator) I’m appalled at the child court system.
Has been grooming daughter with money etc and she’s rejecting me badly to the point of making false allegations of abuse against me.
I really need to move as the area we live in is very toxic, due to his smear campaign.
I want to move about (detail removed by moderator) mikes away.
I want to execute it so he can’t block it through the courts but due to the ages of our five kids – (detail removed by moderator) it’s going to be difficult to just move.
Where I want to go I have no family
I’itd be better fir kids to see him in chunks of a week in holidays rather than eow and tea once a weekBigger gaps mean less brainwashing and more safety.
(detail removed by moderator)
He’s now going fir custody of all 5 inspite if his application saying (detail removed by moderator)
Have anyone managed to get away but not be blocked?.
If
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Hi Purplemountain,
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I don’t have any particular advice as I don’t have children, but hopefully one of the other ladies who has been in a similar situation might come on and see your question soon. I would definitely recommend ringing the helpline and also asking CAB and Rights of Women for advice as they will know about the legal system.
It sounds like moving away could be a really positive thing so if you can manage to do it with support from the court that sounds like your best bet. Don’t give up, keep going and keep posting.
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Thank you for your replies.
Financially it’s tricky. I’m tying up loose ends of company that he ran down, left in debt snd suddenly ran from. There may be something left over for us.
I know no one where I plan to go.
I moved about (Detail removed by Moderator) mikes away (Detail removed by Moderator) years ago but courts weren’t involved then.
(Detail removed by Moderator)
(Detail removed by Moderator)
Has anyone been successful in moving after court order in place to somewhere else?.
He’s not contributing anything even child support.
Maybe economic grounds?
He’s created such a yoxic environment where we live I don’t go certain places now because of the grief. -
THe difficult thing about court is obviously, you do not know what will happen.
The uncertainty of it is very difficult, at least I Found it so.This is why my gut instinct would be the following:
Generally it may be more difficult to move after a court order than before.0
This though depends on what is in the order.If you already live (Detail removed by Moderator) miles away you can prepare yourself for making a case for which contact arrangments you would like in the order. Personally I would ask for a residence order if you are the primary carer. I understand though this is not as common as it was some years ago.
The fact that you have already put a distance in between may be an argument for you to say okay
suggest child contact half the school holidays. Telephone contact twice a week for example.It is about being prepared to suggest something that is the least painful arrangement and addresses your needs and those of your kids.IF you do this then it has the greatest chance of succeeding.
As far as CSA is concerned you would need to go through CSA procedures, you need to pay them a percentage to chase him as it were, check out the website. It seems wise to point out to the court if you can that he has made no financial arragenemtns for them, but if this is a divorce then there will be a finance hearing which usually takes place after children’s matters are decided.
hope this helps a bit
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Thank you for your reply freedom to choose
I’m sorry I didn’t make myself clear earlier. I moved (Detail removed by Moderator) mikes away with the kids (Detail removed by Moderator) years ago. He followed and we reconciled. So we’re living in the same town again now.
Now it’s over fir good as I filed divorce his abuse post separation has gone through the roof. Where I live many of his friends drive past my home and one friend of his overlooks our house.
(Detail removed by Moderator)
Oldest child is saying they want to live with him however he’s manipulating this one with money and material goods and both have made very serious false abuse allegations of me.
SS are involved but have not removed any children, I think? Hope? They are starting to realise it’s nit true but if course court might deem oldest live with him due to age etc.
I would suggest holidays and phone contact, something along those lines when I notify. I just know he’ll do his damnest to prevent me. (Detail removed by Moderator)
Equally forewarned is forearmed and that may help him to block too.
I’m looking at places but doubt I’d secure somewhere let alone move there within next (Detail removed by Moderator) weeks. Financially I’m not quite there.
(Detail removed by Moderator) It’d help if I found a job too but again things I have to tie up here likely won’t be done in time.
Talking and thinking out loud in this safe space helps.
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Dear PurpleMountain
You can always act in the best interests of your children and you, and make sure you make your reasons clear. Cite each and every reason, not least vexaious false claims against you.You could move very fast if you went into refuge which we did and then disappeared from there.
You can request only supervised contact where staff are trained to spot the materialistic coercion and abuse to children by berating their mother. Speak to Rights of Women who can give you specialist family court legal advice and advice from childrens legal perspective.
I wish you every strength for your task ahead and hope that you can get the support you need.
Warmest wishes ts x -
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In another country on the European continent it is common practice that women move as far as possible away so that the father loses the contact to the children. They look for a new job and/or have relatives far away where they move to.
As long as they can give plausible reasons for the move the court cannot object to it. Job opportunity is a very valid reason.
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