Repeating

[Anonymous]

Is it just me or does anyone repeat themselves over & over, he used to scold you are always fn repeating yourself, I do I know I do, I’ve heard other people do it too who are in a dreadful state of severe anxiety. I also have to keep repeating myself when others keep telling me over and over again that in their opinion it was not like that, of cause I repeat. Xx

[Suntree]

I wish I was like those people who can say it once and then walk away. and not care if the other person doesn’t believe me, makes up their own story not care.

However I am not. It is important to me to try to make sure what I have said is understood and heard.

But I am learning and I am also learning to be that bad record without emotion.

I have been out of the abusive relationship for a while, but I do see the same patterns in other relationships ie work.

I am slowly changing how I respond to fit the situation. However sometimes there is a trigger hit and that is when I struggle the most.

The last one was when someone instantly dismissed my review of a situation even though they never dealt with that bit.

[Anonymous]

So do I wish I was like those people at times I wish I could be them not a care in the world, no idea about what abuse does to you. I think when I am recovered I will just not say anything just keep myself to myself not be drawn into any questions or others rows or even try to be there for anyone. You just end up feeling no one believes you. He yelled at me down the phone you told everybody the same fn things, yes I did because it was the truth. He then said that everyone had said sorry to him for believing me!!! I’ve learnt I thought others cared they don’t care & if I’m honest I don’t Want or need them in my life but it is so lonely & so isolating & so terrifying, I don’t fee like I have any strength left at all, yet I have to find some to survive xx

[Houndgirl]

I have found myself cutting people out of my life because they seem to want the easy option, to believe that this is just another break up and not the result of abuse. Nobody wants to acknowledge the abuse! One person I knew texted to say that it was sad as ‘you are both such lovely people’!! They then disappear because I have obviously overreacted and should just ‘get over it’ – those words are the worst. Do they think I want to be like this? Destroyed, a shell, a shadow of my former self? I wish I could get over it and stop repeating myself but nobody hears me and nobody wants to help me understand why this happened. The isolation is dragging me down

[Anonymous]

Hi Houndgirl That is exactly how it is, others opinions of “get over it, it was just a relationship breakdown” haha I hope they never ever go through what any of us did. (detail removed by Moderator) Then the professionals who try to have the same attitude, I first felt completely frozen in time, that was after leaving, was an idiot kept phone contact, I was in it years, I find myself repeating I’m sorry I am like this (voice trembling, tearful, shakey, nervous, scared to do loads, zero energy) you are so right the isolation is awful. Being viewed as oh she really doesn’t cope with life very well does she, Look at her lazy, it’s all put on, poor bloke if he had to put up with her like that!!!!! He was the one who made me a complete nervous wreck, it is absolutely Impossible to recover without going through every stage, all the stages of which I’m still unsure of, I’ve never been in this place of hell before, it’s like fear of the unknown. The whatever next dread. Absolutely awful, To be honest I have felt worse since leaving, other relationships that have ended in my life, I felt Thank goodness for that FREEDOM, That is so not how I feel after him. I feel utterly & completely traumatised, shell shocked. I dream of getting better, that one day I can help others who need help through it. Thank goodness for here, before here I truly believed I was crazy, not normal to feel how I did & have felt. Here is like a meeting place where we can run to and somewhere that others understand us. Xx

[Author]

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