Replied to his text – big mistake

[Tinkerbelle]

Update to my last post(abusive ex texts me saying he has cancer didn’t know whether to reply to him or not).Decided to get rid of my phone so he can’t text me anymore but foolishly gave in to the urge to text him (I was worried about him so thought it might put my mind at rest).Started asking him about his Cancer I could tell straight away that he was lying.So starts playing Mr nice guy and we start texting he manipulates me into agreeing to meet him (detail removed by Moderator) .But before that day arrives he starts his little mind games.Then on the (detail removed by Moderator) he goes out drinking (he drinks himself into oblivion and literally goes to bed with any woman that will have him)and basically he disappears no more texts nothing.Now (detail removed by Moderator) imm even more worried and upset I don’t want to call him or text him because if he is with a woman he will probably deliberately tell me as this is one of his cruel little games that he likes to play.Imm sitting here thinking has he been run over has he died he’s always causing trouble so might have been arrested.Now imm back at square one imm so annoyed with myself for falling into his trap yet again and hadn’t spoken to him for months before this I was doing really well.I think now I will wait till he texts again which could be days weeks or months so I know he’s OK then I will dispose of that phone as its the only number of mine that he has.Now its gonna take me ages to get over it all again.When is it going to get into my head that this man is NEVER going to change

[KIP.]

Mine used the same tactic even using cancer. There is no depth too deep for these men. Take back control and block his number and destroy any means to contact you. They keep us hooked in with guilt and fear. He’s off enjoying himself while you’re worrying because he’s programmed you to worry. Block, ignore, and if he contact you again tell him you will involve the police if his contact persists. You’ve had a very painful lesson that contact brings pain, mind games and manipulation. You can’t deal with an abuser, there is no closure just distance and zero contact.

[FruitLoops]

I agree with the above, he is wanting to have exactly that; control still over your emotions and playing his little game knowing full well you’ll be worrying whilst he is out getting out of head or sleeping around. Cruel and horrible! An ex of mine used the cancer thing when he split up with me, to get sympathy he even lied to his own sister about it. Despicable. Complete no contact I’d say. Stay strong x*x

[Iwantmeback]

Hi, you dont have to wait for a future text to let you know he’s okay. Deep down you know he’s doing just fine. You were doing really well, just think of this as a wee bump on the road, you’ve just taken a wee detour from the path you were on, but now that you’re on your way again, you’ll be more aware of any future bumps. I know it’s a silly analogy, and it feels trite, but the road away from abuse is full of bumps and potholes.
You’re only human, and as such wanted to make sure someone you cared for is okay.
Best wishes
IWMB 💕💕

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