Viewing 6 reply threads
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    • #106807
      Ipmaopal
      Participant

      I’m in contact with the police and was intending reporting my ex for, among other thing, coercive control and rape.
      I can’t bring myself to go ahead and take the steps to make my statement. It’s been a long time since I left but I’m still frightened.

      Has anyone reported their abuser and how did it turn out?

    • #106820
      Sleepy
      Participant

      Yes I have reported a historic rape. For me I did my video statement and the police were looking into it but found out he had died in intervening years. I was really frightened too, I think mostly because I didn’t want to see him again if it got to court. Though I was assured that I wouldn’t need to see him. Also because I was afraid he’d find me again. Though again the police assured me on that.
      I obviously couldn’t get justice but What it has helped me with is that the police made sure I was getting support and my ISVA got counselling set up, which is really tough but in the long run I’m sure it’ll help. Have you seen a copy of the report ‘from report to court’, think that’s what it’s called, you should be able to find it online.
      If I remember right you can pull out at any stage if you feel the need so making a statement doesn’t commit you to court for example.
      PM me if you want more advice

    • #109895
      Seagrass1
      Participant

      When we say historic – my husband abused me over (detail removed by Moderator) years ago. After he hit my daughter I had the strength to take out a non-molestation and ouster order against him and then divorce. He has never taken responsibility for his behaviour and at my daughters recent wedding made some snide comments. This has brought it all back and has made me so angry it is now hurting me and I have this desire for justice and revenge. I just cant seem to move on again.

    • #109896
      Cecile
      Participant

      I reported coercive control inc physical,financial and emotional abuse after decades.it felt wonderful to “tell” and now that is on his police file hahaha.

    • #109897
      Eggshells
      Participant

      If you report, do you have to do it in the place where it happened or can you report to your local police?

    • #109899
      Cecile
      Participant

      Go to the station. They have specially trained officers.

    • #109947
      Blankface
      Participant

      I did a video statement as well a while back regarding the physical and sexual abuse. I’ll admit it was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do but the police have specially trained officers who were very understanding and patient.
      I couldn’t go through with the charges against him for various reasons (can PM you if you want more info) but the police did say that the charges can be brought back up at anytime I felt comfortable with it.

      Hope this helps I know it’s not much to go on x

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