So often, abusers get away with their abuse and it’s really important to keep a diary or some record of what’s happening in the relationship. I didn’t write things down when I thought everything was ok. At the moment, patterns of abuse aren’t recognised as criminal. It won’t always be that way, and one day, these patterns we’ve recorded will be able to be used as evidence. I am optimistic that the law will change. If coercive control is to be taken seriously it has to. Domestic Abuse is a societal problem. It’s still taboo.
I think it’s important to report the ‘small’ stuff, the covert aggression, the things that on the face of it are meaningless unless it is part of a familiar pattern. One day, these patterns will be recognised for what they are. One day the world will be a safer place for women and children.
Hi, I did just that the other day. It was logged as verbal abuse with no further action but when I move out it means if he starts following me or giving me hassle I can ring them and they have a record of my worry’s.
I felt sick doing it but the young man who rang to talk to me was so sensitive and didn’t push for answers.
I would encourage others to do the same. I wish I hadn’t destroyed my journals but I was worried they would be found by him.
I reported him to the police and that was that,i did not find much support from them even though they where the Domestic Abuse team, they counldnt come to the house as i have 2 abusers still living here.
I had to meet them a few streets away, first time in the back of a police car. Quite daunting.
They did call NCDV who have been very supportive.