Reporting to the police… again..???

[maddog]

My ex has been harassing me, my friends and my family for a long time, especially since the death of my mother. He has used a government agency as a flying monkey which has resulted only in trauma and expense. I have made a formal complaint to said agency and they responded with a wall of excuses telling me there were no witnesses.

I have the paper trail for this and the person involved I believe has misused her power in a public office. She has only denigrated and humiliated me.

I don’t know what to do any more. My boyfriend told me I whacked him in my sleep. This is one of the results of trauma and powerlessness. I absolutely didn’t mean to and don’t remember doing it. It is like living in a Kafka novel which you can’t escape from.

[AlwaysSorry]

Hi MD,

I still sometimes wake up scratching at my own throat because I dream he is there strangling me again. I think it’s very likely that you were dreaming of your ex and reacted as such in your sleep. It’s indeed a result of all the trauma you have been through and not something you could control while asleep. It wasn’t a conscious choice you made and I really hope your boyfriend understands that. I find lots of different mindfulness videos on YouTube, some for PTSD, some for relaxation, some for sleep and it does help me, maybe that’s just because I want it to help, but perhaps it’s something that could help settle your sleep so you don’t worry about your actions in your sleep.

I’m really saddened to hear of the loss of your mother and how your ex chose to carry on his cruel abuse of you through it. Is there a person above this woman you can complain to? Or is that the ombudsman? Someone must have an oversight of her. I know misconduct in a public office can be a criminal offence but I’m not the most knowledgeable on the area. The harassment most certainly is something I think you could report to the police if you wish, even if nothing further comes of it than he receives a warning, it will be noted and if further harassment then happens he might very well find himself in a load of trouble. If you do report it, you could always mention this woman and if that is something that falls within the jurisdiction of the police to investigate further.

Whatever you decide, keep posting on here x We’re here for you x

[maddog]

Apparently harassment through government bodies is completely legal no matter the lies, the trauma and the expense it causes. Yes, I am going to the ombudsman. My boyfriend has been very kind and recognises that it wasn’t him I lashed out against. I don’t remember it. Something must have triggered me. Horrible.

[Flowerchild]

Maddog, interesting that your boyfriend says you ‘whacked him’ in your sleep. You didn’t, you know!

If you were having a nightmare and flailing about, you might have made contact with your co-sleeper, but there was certainly no intention and you had no control over your movements. I’m surprised a supportive partner would describe it as being whacked – or is that your way of describing it?

I’d be expect someone to say “Did you realise I caught an elbow in my face when you had that nightmare?” and leave it at that. If he’s making it all about him and playing victim it could be a red flag.

Whatever he says, it’s not your fault and there’s nothing you can do about it, so don’t let anyone make you feel bad!

Flower x

[maddog]

My boyfriend has been very kind about what happened. That’s my way of describing it. He’s not playing a victim. He recognises that I have been under immense pressure and I wasn’t lashing out against him. It’s still frightening even if it’s not my fault.

[Author]

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