Rock and a hard place…

[iwillbeok]

My ex has the kids for the week soon and wants to take them camping. No issue on my part. Excwpt all the tents etc are here, and i would be glad to be rid of it all.

Issue is contact with kids is curently by them (detail removed by Moderator) to meet him (hes not alloqed within x distance of the house except with my written permission.

Common sense says the kids can hardly lug multiple trips of camping equipment down the road! Im thinking of giving permission for him to park outside the house (in set timeframe dictated by me) for purposes of loading up. Benefit is i can get rid of more of his c**p…

Issue is I’d need to break nc to do this. My long, hard-won, keeping-me-sane nc. Arghh…

Hes being so friggin *reasonable* so if I dig mu heels in i look like the unreasonable one…

So need a third party who i can talk through…
If my son sends a pic of a handwritten note is that breaking nc? Oh god this is all so stupid!!

Lost on what to do… thoughta asap please. I’ve been kinda numb all week (have tried to cry but nothing) – fear this may set me off…

[iwillbeok]

Not that hes *asked* but has said to child not to bring too much as will have to carry (detail removed by Moderator)… having sent list as long aa your arm of atuff to take…

[iwillbeok]

Sorry for spelling – stupid phones autocorrect is now less than useless!

[lover of no contact]

Could you get a third party to collect all the camping stuff and bring it down to your ex’s house. I would even consider hiring ‘a man with a van’ and paying someone to collect the camping stuff and deliver it at his house. That way you don’t have to involve your ex in the transfer of the camping stuff.

I think your ‘gut’ is right. Give these abusers an inch and they take a mile. Abusers ride roughshod over boundaries. We have to keep them in check and make sure they tow the line.

Your Gut is right!!

[iwillbeok]

Thanks for fast response lover of nc!

Problem is, its (detail removed by Moderator) hes collecting them. As usual i have stuck my head in the sand and waited til the last second. Not insisting on firm plans (i let the kids organise their own schedule as old enough to let themselves in and out).

I dont want my kids to think im an unreasonable (detail removed by Moderator) but they really dont understand why nc is so important to me.

[iwillbeok]

We have no 3rd party. Ive not met any of his work colleagues and in hind sight subconsciously i avoided him meeting mine – that was *my* space and he wasnt welcome!

He has no “friends” to my knowledge. But then neither do i except the lovely work colleagues who have become my friends and allies!

[iwillbeok]

Other option is to lug it all down with the kids well before he’s due to collect them and they can ‘babysit’ it all til he arrives!

[lover of no contact]

Why not book a taxi and pay the taxi man extra to deliver the camping stuff to ex’s house. Pretend you have a sore back, a migraine anything but just don’t put yourself under that pressure of having to go near his house.

[iwillbeok]

Oh i had no intention of going anywhere near his place! Besides all the stuff wouldnt fit in my lovely new (never had him anywhere near it!) car…

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